Kelly Brook

News, Reviews & Features

I just now got round to watching Piranha 3DD so here are some notes

Movie Feature | Ali Gray | 25th May 2015

Tonight was one of those nights where there was literally nothing on so you go, look, we can either watch Alan Carr do fake-laughs about cheap alcohol with someone from TOWIE or we can watch Piranha 3DD. I wish somehow I could have closed my eyes and synergised the two together so I could have watched Alan Carr being eaten by angry fish. Here are my notes on Piranha 3DD which are only three years late.

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Horrible interviews #346: Kelly Brook and Jake Lloyd

Movie Feature | Matt Looker | 26th August 2014

Kelly Brook's incompetence, Jake Lloyd's cockiness, the 90s' garishness... it's the perfect shitstorm. Just because. (via @JimothyShondell)

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Original Weird Science trailer speaks out about remake

Movie Feature | Neil | 21st April 2013

With the news surfacing like an unflushed turd that Universal are planning to remake Weird Science, we decided to ask the only source to which we had access what they thought about it. Yep, we asked the original film's trailer. Just go with it, OK? It's Sunday.

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Who's the biggest celebrity cunt in Keith Lemon: The Film?

Movie Feature | Ali | 3rd August 2012

"Prepare to be starstruck!" says the new TV spot for Keith Lemon's new movie. 17 hours after first watching it, I'm still preparing, because this shower of cunts certainly doesn't contain a single star.

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Dear Keith Lemon, your film is bad and you should feel bad

Movie News | Ali | 7th July 2012

Brace yourself, Britain: the country's least amusing comedy character is promoting his new movie. Now's the perfect time to slit those wrists you're always talking about.

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Piranha 3DD trailer: double the durr

Movie Trailer | Ali | 1st March 2012

So you can bring Ving Rhames back from the dead, but you can't reanimate Kelly Brook back into a bikini? I'm starting to doubt whether or not I can take this killer piranha movie seriously at all.

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Bad news for lovers of tits and fish

Movie News | Ali | 31st December 2011

Oscar-hopeful Piranha 3DD has had its theatrical release canned and is heading straight to DVD, which is terrible news for lovers of trashy horror films but great news for people who hate getting boners in public.

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Piranha 3D

Movie Review | Christopher Ratcliff | 25th August 2010

Piranha 3D is a film that truly wears its commercialism on its sleeve. Not like Transformers or GI Joe, which despite having the snigger-inducing opening credit 'Based on a Hasbro toy', still pretend to be legitimate filmmaking enterprises rather than lavishly expensive adverts by hiding within multiple layers of confusing narrative and unearned pathos. Not Piranha 3D though. Oh no.

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Good work, Piranha trailer

Movie Trailer | Ali | 1st May 2010

Last week's Piranha's teaser trailer had it all, except Kelly Brook's bikini body. Thankfully this epic cinematic wrong has been righted. Also, there are killer fish on the loose! And bad actors!

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Piranha 3D teaser trailer needs more Kelly Brook

Movie Trailer | Ali | 26th April 2010

From the franchise that once kinda sorta employed the director of Avatar... using an inferior version of the same 3D technology, and the tagline from Jaws 2... are you ready for Piranha 3D?

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