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"Hey girl, I made a surreal scary nonsense film because I’m a tortured, sensitive artist. Want to watch it with me? I think you’ll like it. It’s got loads of symbolism about, like, women and sex and monsters and theatre and street lighting. And there’s funny dancing in it. And lots of fake blood. And fire. And lots of bright colours. And a scene where Doctor Who cuts off someone’s lips with a pair of scissors. Want it see it, girl? Hey girl. Hey. HEY. Aww." (*Looks into the distance with sad, longing eyes while lifting up t-shirt to reveal chiselled abs*)
The internets are pretty jizzed right now about the fact that Saoirse Ronan auditioned for Star Wars Episode VII, as revealed in the Empire podcast
, but nobody seems to have picked up on her most revealing comment: "Yeah, I did [audition for Star Wars Episode VII]… I mean, everyone did. Everyone has auditioned for it." In a Shiznit exclusive, we spoke to literally everyone about their Ep 7 auditions, and here are just some of their remarkable stories...
Posted by Ali
at 11:14 on 01 May 2011
Joe Wright must be secretly pissed that Mark Millar's Kick-Ass came along and pooped on his doorstep, because Hanna is a pretty hard sell, post Hit-Girl. Teenage assassin trained as a killing machine since birth? Unless your movie has Nicolas Cage dressed like Batman with a paedo-tache, you're fighting a losing battle from the start.
Posted by Kirsty
at 21:52 on 19 Feb 2010
It's a big ask, translating one of the most popular books of the late 20th Century onto the big screen. Especially when said book is full of other worldly imagery and is, for the most part, narrated by a dead 14 year-old.