Toby Kebbell

Review: Wrath Of The Titans

When you consider the critical shitpanning that was given to Clash Of The Titans upon release, it's hard to understand how a sequel was ever greenlit. Absurd plot points, stilted dialogue and 3D so eye-bleedingly bad it nearly undid all of Avatar's goodwill singlehandedly...and yet here we are again. With the promise of bigger and better monsters - and a new, less anachronistic haircut for Sam Worthington - is this film a vast improvement? Nuh-uh.

Review: War Horse

At the screening of War Horse I attended, there were people in floods of tears. Floods. Not just quiet, reflective sobbing, but that godless, wretched honking that's usually accompanied by snot and friends who wish they were somewhere else. Me? I didn't shed a single tear – I walked out of there like Moses parting a salty sea. Bear in mind I once got a bit teary because I thought one of my cats was upset with me, and that should tell you a little about me, but everything about War Horse. It's about as manipulative a film has Steven Spielberg has ever made – a movie that's been custom-designed from the ground up to play a sad harp solo on the heartstrings; a story cynically told to invoke as many tears as possible. You'd swear it was bankrolled by Kleenex.

Review: The Sorcerer's Apprentice

18th Century poetry isn't usually the biggest fountain of ideas when it comes to full-on, bold, effects-driven summer blockbusters. But when has logic stood in the way of uber-producer Jerry Bruckheimer? After all, this is the man who turned a crappy theme park ride into the billion dollar Pirates Of The Caribbean franchise and made Prince Of Persia a successful... er... yeah... (*awkward pause*).

Review: Prince Of Persia: The Sands Of Time

Movie rule of thumb #1: if Jerry Bruckheimer's name is on the poster, check your brain in with your coat. Prince Of Persia is typically undemanding summer blockbuster fare - all SFX and stylish set-pieces, but very little in the way of substance. I'm not complaining. These movies have their place. But if you're making a big, dumb movie that invites you to switch off and enjoy, then don't over complicate the plot - Pirates Of The Caribbean did it and Prince Of Persia does it too. It's a Bruckheimer trait.