Teen Wolf

3 stars

Matt Looker

15th July 2011

It's sultry, angst-y and bonafide teeny, but is it anything like the Teen Wolf we already know and laugh at? Of course not. They might as well have called it Goonies for all the similarities it bears.

The new series of Teen Wolf has begun on Sky Living and, if you've seen any of the dark, misty promo stills of hot, young, sexy people, than you already knew what to expect. The rest of you were probably disappointed by the lack of stonewashed denim.

The first couple of episodes have certainly set the tone of the show, which seems to be: "Vampire Diaries is doing well - let's do that". Of course, it's all very high-school drama-y but it has laid down the foundations for enough plot points to keep things interesting for a while at least so the proof will be in how the story strands unravel over the course of the series.

In the meantime though, let's answer the bigger question: is it better than the original movie? Let's compare, shall we?

Plot: Scott Howard gets bitten by a monster in the forest and becomes a brooding, angst-ridden werewolf struggling to keep his wild side tamed throughout his times at high school. Becomes awesome at lacrosse.

Cast: Tyler Posey, Crystal Reed, Dylan O'Brien, Holland Roden, Colton Haynes.


Essentially: It's Twilight/Vampire Diaries but with werewolves!

Lead actor: Tyler Posey - or should that be Tyler POSER? Right guys?

Hot, sexy love interest:

Tagline: Love. Be afraid. (What does that even mean?)

Sample dialogue: "You've been given something that most people would kill for. The bite is a gift."

Werewolf make-up:

YouTube says: "why is it ALWAYS fucking some good lucking teenage fag boy in these series? Stop the twilight fever jesus... Trueblood uses actors in their 30s atleast! Fucking fag ass highschool musical series SUCK BALLS!"

Inadvertent LOL: Tyler Posey's acting.

Best example of awesomeness:
Plot: Scott Howard reaches puberty and turns into a super-cool, high-fiving, high-jiving werewolf. Tells everyone at his school and they all love him and everyone generally has a great time. Becomes awesome at basketball.

Cast: Michael J Fox, James Hampton, Susan Ursitti, Jerry Levine, Lorie Griffin.


Essentially: 80s comedy cashing in on Back To The Future!

Lead actor: Michael J Fox, motherfucker.

Hot, sexy love interest:

Tagline: MICHAEL J FOX is back from the future in a NEW COMEDY.

Sample dialogue: "Your mama used to steal chickens out of the backyard until I blew her head off with a shotgun."

Werewolf make-up:

YouTube says: "Is it just me or does he look like big foot?Haha<3 i love this, one of my favorites, EVERYONE should watch it , like pronto:D"

Inadvertent LOL: Woman pulling out her penis in the background of the final scene. Or something.

Best example of awesomeness:
Verdict: The original movie obviously wins paws down. Time for a victory dance.

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