Amy Seimetz

News, Reviews & Features
  • Review: Pet Sematary is flatter than a run over cat

    Movie Review | Becky Suter | 5th April 2019

    The long list of Stephen King adaptations run from the great (The Shining, Misery), the so-so (original Carrie), to the just downright silly one where everyone gets alien bum worms called "Shitweasels" (Dreamcatcher). Following on from the passable remake of It, where Pennywise became a sewer daddy for thirsty millennials wanting to bang clowns, the latest of King’s books to be resurrected is a confused and uninspiring mess that proves, as one character helpfully puts it, sometimes dead is better.

  • #LFF2013: The Sacrament

    Movie Review | Christopher Ratcliff | 22nd October 2013

    Deep within a heavily armed camp in South America, a group of sober-living hippies under the influence of a safari-shirted old man known only as The Father, have relocated to begin a new life away from the evils of modern society – mediocre broadband speeds, ill-matching Tupperware lids, Starbucks constantly spelling their names wrong - that sort of shit.

    Within the congregation of hemp-oil smelling beatniks is Caroline, the sister of Vice magazine journalist Patrick. Seeking to rescue his sister from the cult, Patrick travels to the remote commune with fellow Vice journalist Sam (AJ Bowen, the bearded guy from You're Next) and cameraman Jake (Joe Swanberg, also from You're Next) who intend to document the family reunion, expose this bizarre gathering and interview the charismatic leader. As you can imagine, things get much shitter from there.

  • Upstream Colour

    Movie Review | Neil | 28th August 2013

    The six of us who saw Primer, Shane Carruth's mind-splintering 2004 debut, have spent the past nine years a) trying to untangle its labyrinthine plot and b) waiting for his next film. We may be no closer to the former, but the latter is finally here, and if you thought Primer was baffling then prepare to set your baffle readiness condition to BAFCON 1, because Upstream Colour provokes weapons-grade bafflement of the most baffling order.