Jason Clarke

News, Reviews & Features
  • Review: Pet Sematary is flatter than a run over cat

    Movie Review | Becky Suter | 5th April 2019

    The long list of Stephen King adaptations run from the great (The Shining, Misery), the so-so (original Carrie), to the just downright silly one where everyone gets alien bum worms called "Shitweasels" (Dreamcatcher). Following on from the passable remake of It, where Pennywise became a sewer daddy for thirsty millennials wanting to bang clowns, the latest of King’s books to be resurrected is a confused and uninspiring mess that proves, as one character helpfully puts it, sometimes dead is better.

  • Review: First Man is out of this world NO WAIT I CAN DO BETTER

    Movie Review | Ali Gray | 28th September 2018

    I am from a generation who never had a Moon landing, and it’s probably just as well. I suspect 9/11 is to be our defining shared collective experience, one that united us in terror instead of awe, huddled as we were around TVs and computer screens to watch the world change forever, just not for the better. My generation would be unable to process a positive event of such magnitude without cynicism: if the Moon landing happened in 2018, the memes would be played out by breakfast, the conspiracy theories would be in effect by lunch and the astronaut who stepped off the spacecraft would be Milkshake Ducked by dinner (reminder: we couldn’t even enjoy the fact that scientists landed a probe on a fucking COMET because one of the engineers was wearing a sexist shirt). We deify Elon Musk, we don’t deserve a Moon landing. Watching First Man is probably as close as my generation is ever going to get to watching the human race extend its reach beyond the stars: it is a refreshingly old-fashioned, unashamedly straightforward account of mankind’s headiest achievement, and even speaking for a generation who are generally numb to this brand of back-patting throwback bio, I found its bald-faced nostalgia quite moving.

  • Paramount Comic-Con panel formally apologises for Terminator Genisys

    Movie Feature | Ali Gray | 12th July 2015

    Paramount Pictures and Skydance Entertainment hosted a packed hall at this weekend's Comic-Con convention in San Diego, where they formally apologised to fans for the cinematic abomination that was Terminator Genisys. "We're so sorry," Marketing VP Jerry Steinback told the assembled fans: "It's the worst thing we've ever done, and we made four Transformers movies."

  • Terminator Genisys

    Movie Review | Ali Gray | 1st July 2015

    Terminator Genisys represents everything that is wrong with modern movies. Absolutely everything. It is a hopelessly contrived revisit to a once famous franchise, long since dragged through the mud and reanimated - for the third time - in the hopes that it can repeat past tricks. It is a reboot that fails to perform the basic function of a reboot - to start afresh with a blank canvas - instead preferring to muddy the waters of an already terminally confusing timeline. Worst of all, it is chronically boring and manages to make a movie about a robot uprising seem about as exciting as the launch of Tidal. In short, it is the worst film of the year by far; a catastrophically bad moviegoing experience that not only manages to insult fans of the first (and only) two decent Terminator movies but manages to botch the franchise to such an extent you wonder if even the 12-year-olds it's aimed at will be impressed by its static action and needlessly convoluted plot.

  • Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes

    Movie Review | Ali Gray | 14th July 2014

    CGI guys: I think it's safe to say the monkeys look enough like monkeys now. So could we maybe move the focus onto, y'know, the humans? Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes is similar to its predecessor, Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes, in that the revolutionary effects work is so impressive, it successfully distracts from the film's complete and total lack of three-dimensional human characters. Though Dawn is a sturdy sequel that really gets into the swing of things about an hour or so in, it slips on that same banana peel – in making monkey more interesting and more fully-rounded than man, you question why they even bother giving the humans any screen time at all. I can confidently say that a third Apes movie featuring no human characters whatsoever would be the perfect evolution for an otherwise thrilling series that has itself evolved way beyond reasonable expectations.

  • See the finished CGI of the new Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes pic

    Movie Feature | Matt | 11th May 2013

    Move mouse over image to see the complete CGI version!


    That's right, I made you move your mouse for a cheap gag. Deal with it.

  • Zero Dark Thirty

    Movie Review | Neil | 21st January 2013

    If you think your job's difficult, try being a CIA officer on the hunt for the world's least favourite terrorist. If it's not bad enough that your quarry is probably holed up in an anonymous cave in the middle of nowhere, you can barely enjoy your lunch break without something exploding all over you and you have to be across some of the world's most baffling jargon. So next time your PC point blank refuses to communicate with the office printer, think yourself lucky you're not involved in a black bag operation at angels two zero AGL with only three mikes left before you're completely winchester.