Monster

News, Reviews & Features

The Ruins

Movie Review | Ali | 26th June 2008

"This doesn't just happen!" yells one of The Ruins' clueless young protagonists. "Four Americans on vacation don't just disappear!" These guys obviously don't watch many horror films. Firstly, they think it's a great idea to go "off the beaten path" in Mexico. The path's beaten for a reason, a-holes. Secondly, if they'd seen rec...

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Aliens Vs Predator: Requiem

Movie Review | Ali | 30th January 2008

Although I'm ashamed to say I was drunk when I saw Aliens Versus Predator at the cinema (well at least I had fun), I've been assured that it isn't much more fun when sober. A clumsy cut-and-shut of two trusty franchises directed by a true cinematic hack, it took a great concept - pit two of the baddest alien motherfuckers in the...

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Cloverfield

Movie Review | Ali | 18th January 2008

Forget the Army, forget fighter jets, forget nukes - the only real way to kill a city-stomping monster is an overdose of hype. The frothing anticipation that precedes event movies like Cloverfield tends to pump you up like a balloon, but more often than not, leaves you deflated like a punctured beach ball when it comes to the cr...

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I Am Legend

Movie Review | Andy | 31st December 2007

There are two Will Smiths in this world. One is an actor of surprising depth and ability; he makes films like Six Degrees Of Separation, Ali and The Pursuit of Happyness. The other is The Fresh Prince of Bel Air; he makes films like Bad Boys, Independence Day, Men in Black and any other number of wise-cracking action hero eyewip...

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Slither

Movie Review | Ali | 11th July 2006

Horror films don't scare me in the same way as they used to. It just feels like Hollywood is running low on ideas; if it's not a back-slapping, ironic-as-you-like slasher movie it's a US remake of an Eastern classic or a 12A pussy flick that wouldn't scare the pants off my incontinent grandmother. Movies like Wolf Creek and Ho...

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King Kong

Movie Review | Ali | 2nd March 2006

We've become somewhat accustomed to having jolly fat bearded men bring us incredible gifts come Christmas time. Yes, Peter Jackson has become synonymous with fantastic festive films, and although his Hobbit-like rolls of flab have all but disappeared, a few vital things remain; his ability to create 3-hour plus epics of unimagi...

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The Descent

Movie Review | Ali | 10th July 2005

Hollywood's lack of vision when it comes to the horror genre is starting to grate. We've already had remakes of Dawn of the Dead, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Amityville Horror in the last few years, not to mention the influx of American remade Japanese shockers - even before The Descent had begun, the first two trailers were bo...

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Van Helsing

Movie Review | Ali | 14th September 2004

As far as tantalising taglines go, 'The new movie from the director of "The Mummy" and "The Mummy Returns"' must go down in history as one of the worst. Having already defecated on one classic horror franchise, Stephen Sommers is now attempting to breathe life into three, and all in the one picture. It's cer...

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