Movie Poster Round-up

Movie poster round-up: James Bond, gangster justice and jizzing cocks

I wrote most of this week's poster round-up yesterday in a rush to leave the house for Matt's birthday bash, which explains why the little bits of preamble are poorly-written and deepy unfunny. Any other reason is a government conspiracy initiated by the Freemasons in league with David Icke and Harry & The Hendersons.

Movie poster round-up: fairies, families and folk unlike us

Sorry this week's poster round-up is a little bit late. I bought Trials Evolution on the Xbox 360, and spent all afternoon playing Trials Evolution on the Xbox 360 and trying to figure out a way to quit my job, play Trials Evolution on the Xbox 360 all day and still pay my mortgage. Maybe if I say Trials Evolution on the Xbox 360 a few more times Microsoft will start paying me. It's quite good, you should get it.

Movie poster round-up: high schools, inner demons and deep throats

This week's poster round-up should have gone live yesterday night, but I somehow found myself at a party with an open bar. And let me tell you things got a little bit crazy (I drank three cokes and had to sit in a dark corner until my sugar rush subsided).

Movie poster round-up: Otters, Oogieloves and Arnie

The first draft of this week's poster round-up contained lots of bad language, but then I realised children might find us by googling for The Oogieloves and decided to remove some of the harsher words - such as "cunt" and "dick hole" - as well as references to Santa and the Easter Bunny not being real, and instructions to wet themselves when an uncle they don't like enters the room. Hi, kids!

Movie poster round-up: Spiders, tits, horses, vampires... the usual

Luke's off having a real life today, so I'm deputising on poster duty and marking my territory by spraying piss everywhere. He won't be leaving the house again in a hurry!

Movie poster round-up: Django, Dog Days and dance-offs

This week's movie poster round-up took a bit longer to write than usual, because I needed to put off doing some housework. The amount of tea and toast consumed to further this procrastination is not going to help when the web of deceit I'm weaving around my own brain collapses. Help! (*makes more toast*)

Movie poster round-up: Savages, Stooges and Shreeedddeeeerr

I don't what you guys did to deserve the awful shower of crap that constitutes this week's movie poster releases, but some deity or other is in a foul mood and has decided to take it out on our eyes. Repent!

Movie poster round-up: wanted ads, android porn and glory holsters

Another week, another helping of movie posters. I could actually end the article right here and advise you not to waste your time - that's about as memorable as any of the offerings are this week. No wait, my children need new shoes, click everything!

Movie poster round-up: icebergs, bragging rights and animal wrongs

Wow, what a lovely Saturday here in sunny England. Perfect for a stroll in a meadow. Here's the movie poster round-up I sat in front of a screen all day writing, so you better bloody read it.

Movie poster round-up: Killer Joes, eating contests and man hands

It's SXSW this week, which sounds like something Jean Dujardin might say in bed but is actually a film and music festival that should hopefully provide some good movie news for tomorrow's round-up. It has to because I'm writing it and it needs to be easy.