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News, Reviews & Features

The Apprentice: season 15, episode 4 recap: "Vicious Cycle"

TV Feature | Becky Suter | 28th October 2019

I don't own a bike, mainly because I'm not a massive wanker, but also because I believe that the rules of the road apply to everyone, unlike overweight marketing managers who think they're Bradley Wiggins and look like un-pricked sausages in the latest Team Sky kit, who scream at me when I dare to use a pedestrian crossing in the correct manner and slow down buses because they can't stay in one lane. But yeah, great, let's get more bikes on the road.

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The Apprentice: season 15, episode 3 recap: "Toys Toys Toys, I'm Looking for a Good Time"

TV Feature | Ed Williamson | 20th October 2019

Ooh, a race row, this ought to give the whole thing a much-needed positivity shot in the arm.

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The Apprentice: season 15, episode 2 recap: "Brain Freeze"

TV Feature | Becky Suter | 12th October 2019

This has been a burden on my life for a few years now and I have finally got to the bottom of it. Over the past five years I have been posting a series of false stories to see if they made their way onto The Shiznit. And you know what, they did! The story about the ‘Fat Daddy’ fitness video fitness video, the story about the incredibly sexist board game and then the story about about the children’s party business which nearly killed a woman. It’s been tough not keeping these to myself and making comments, especially when it’s Ed’s turn to write an episode and I think of a good pun for the title. However, I had to. Now I know for certain. I have saved and screenshotted all my original stories which clearly show just one person has viewed them. It’s............your mum.

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The Apprentice: season 15, episode 1 recap: "The Cape of No Hope"

TV Feature | Ed Williamson | 6th October 2019

They're all here again, and again, and again. The token posh guy and girl; the cockney salesman who's the most self-aware and grounded but startlingly aggressive whenever he has to sell anyone something; the gold-star recruitment consultants who ironically have no understanding of the sort of personality likely to win over potential employers. I wish they weren't. I wish it would all stop.

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Review: Yesterday: I saw a film today, oh boy

Movie Review | Ed Williamson | 30th June 2019

A common pub argument I have with a friend of mine is that the Beatles weren't as influential as everyone makes out. I tell him there weren't bands before the Beatles; just solo singers and backing groups. I tell him that artists didn't write their own songs before the Beatles. I tell him that the album wasn't an artistic endeavour before the Beatles; just a commercial ruse to package up a hit single or two with some filler and sell them again. He still won't have it. Obviously he is an idiot, but I hope to Christ he never sees Yesterday, because it'll only strengthen his wildly incorrect view. While it does have at its heart the idea that this was the most special collection of songs ever written, it overlooks that what the boys gave us all wasn't just the songs: it was far more than that.

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Review: Isn't It Romantic is a pleasing trope inverter

Movie Review | Luke Whiston | 3rd April 2019

I don't have a problem with tropes. If you've had a long day and just want to unwind watching one of the Chrises drift a car or fight some pixels, a well-placed cliché can fill the gaps between any distracting thinky bits to keep the plot ticking along - allowing your eyes to glaze over as your body slowly powers down. Tropes are a useful form of cinematic shorthand. But imagine not being overwhelmingly tired all the time, and also wanting to be entertained while using your brain. What do you stick on? A sci-fi? Action-thriller? If I said there was a romcom that met all these needs you'd probably say "shut the hell up with that", to which I'd reply "Click through for the full review", and you'd say "Sir, this is a Burger King", then I'd say "Please like and subscribe." And then the police would arrive.

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Marvel's Cine-CHAT-ic Universe: Guardians Of The Galaxy (2014)

Movie Feature | Ali Gray, Matt Looker, Becky Suter, Ed Williamson, Luke Whiston | 28th March 2019

It's the regular feature you assumed had been quietly abandoned - but we've got nothing else going on right now! We're back with another scintillating edition of Marvel's Cine-CHATIC Universe: this week/month/quarter, we're talking about James Gunn's Guardians Of The Galaxy, but also, very much other things too.

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Review: The Lego Movie 2 plays nicely but has no new surprises

Movie Review | Ed Williamson | 10th February 2019

My nephews were younger when the first Lego Movie came out. I mean, everyone was. But in 2014 they were five years younger; a lifetime when you're under ten. The elder one loved it; the younger probably not quite at the age where he could be relied on to sit through anything for more than ten minutes without chewing his shoes. They'll love this too, because they're still under ten and they're idiots, despite the older one being quite capable of comprehensively schooling me about dinosaurs. Me, I think maybe the magic has faded a bit.

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The Apprentice: season 14, episode 12 recap: "High Nut Content"

TV Feature | Ed Williamson | 18th December 2018

It's drawing to its close and we're all better people: informed, educated and entertained. Let's build on this experience and learn to live together in harmony, then burn the world in a big skip.

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The Apprentice: season 14, episode 11 recap: "Pretty Big Deal in Peterborough"

TV Feature | Becky Suter | 13th December 2018

Well, that was a big fuss over nothing. I give a vote of no confidence in delaying The Apprentice by ten minutes and totally messing up my dinner plans. I was hoping to see Theresa May saying "Thank you for the opportunity" before walking out of No.10 with her wheelie suitcase.

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