Stinkers

News, Reviews & Features

The Unborn

Movie Review | Ali | 28th February 2009

Can we get a moratorium on horror films featuring scary children? Pale-faced kids are ten-a-penny and ceased being scary around about the time The Grudge started to get old (that's about eight years ago for anyone still counting). The Unborn is the latest chiller to put faith in a pint-sized spook, but it's a film so desperately...

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Scar 3D

Movie Review | Ali | 10th November 2008

Listen up, proles! 3D cinema is here and it's going to drag your two-dimensional, technologically-inferior arse kicking and screaming into the 21st century whether you like it or not. Films will no longer be confined to a flat screen; a 3D Zac Efron will take every opportunity to grind his package in your face; perverts will fin...

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The Happening

Movie Review | Ali | 14th June 2008

Plot a graph of M Night Shyamalan's career and you could pick up quite a speed sledding to the bottom. He started on a high with The Sixth Sense and the underrated Unbreakable, but somewhere around the 80 minute mark in Signs, Night started his inexorable decline. The Village? Lady In The Water? Twaddle of the highest order. And...

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All The Boys Love Mandy Lane

Movie Review | Ali | 14th February 2008

The teen slasher market is so damn saturated these days, you'd better have a hook if you want to catch my attention. It's clear from minute one that All The Boys Love Mandy Lane has nothing in its corner apart from an unfeasibly attractive lead in Amber Heard. Apparently the Weinsteins sliced and diced this picture over a year a...

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Hannibal Rising

Movie Review | Mark | 12th February 2007

Turning Anthony Hopkins' most memorable performance into a pretentious Jason Voorhees takes a certain, rather considerable ability. Hannibal Rising is the work of an undoubted artistic vandal: it's not an intriguing character study into the mundanity of evil. It's just an exercise in the inanity of evil. Perhaps what is mor...

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White Noise: The Light

Movie Review | Ali | 12th January 2007

Let's face it, without crappy sequels to bitch about, the internet would be a desolate wasteland populated by bright young teens exchanging smileys and looking at pictures of kittens - shite movies are why we're here. The fact that movies like White Noise: The Light exist is not what rankles me, rather the fact that they're see...

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The Grudge 2

Movie Review | Ali | 17th October 2006

This site is holding a particular grudge of its own at the moment, what with our recent rant on the ubiquity of sequels and remakes. There's one dude out there who's perhaps more guilty of such crimes than anyone else on the planet, and he shows no signs of slowing; his name is Takashi Shimizu and he's the man behind the recent...

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Spotlight On Seagal: Today You Die

Movie Review | Ali | 23rd July 2006

If ever there was a movie that needed an exclamation mark after its title, it's this one. If Steven Seagal had used his considerable weight to get the director to rename it Today You Die! then at least it would go some way to explaining all the unintentional laughs it contains. Instead, the solemn-faced title marks yet another...

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Ultraviolet

Movie Review | Chris | 11th July 2006

Allow me start this review by saying right off the bat that Ultraviolet is already the frontrunner for one of the worst movies of the year. I should probably qualify that statement; I suspect there have probably worse movies released already this year, and there will probably be dozens of terrible movies released over the next ...

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Hostel

Movie Review | Andy | 27th March 2006

Eli Roth's first offering since Cabin Fever follows the latest trend in horror to replace fear and jumps with sadism and brutality, to eschew creeping menace and tension for dismemberment and sex. But, much like its central characters, Hostel is low on style, wit and grace and instead serves up a platter of tits, blood and guts...

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