Ted

News, Reviews & Features

Face The Music: The Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey soundtrack is most outstanding

Movie Feature | Matt Looker | 4th September 2020

With Bill & Ted Face The Music coming to a cinema/streaming platform/post-Covid quarantine bunker near you soon, it's a good time to revisit the Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey soundtrack - surely the most absurd collection of musical ditties ever assembled for a film.

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Review: In the Tall Grass is a creeper but it won't make you soil yourself

Movie Review | Luke Whiston | 14th October 2019

"This is like one of those rubbish Stephen King film adaptations" I blurted out not long after In The Tall Grass had started - which was fine because I was watching it on Netflix at home. A few minutes later while checking out the film's IMDB page on my phone - again, fine - I saw it actually was a Stephen King adaptation, that also happened to be rubbish. Maybe if I'd been paying more attention the film would have seemed less rubbish. Or maybe if it was less rubbish I wouldn't have been tempted by my phone, despite being a near-40-year-old adult who should know better. Maybe cinemas should be cheaper. Maybe Netflix shouldn't exist so I'm forced to go to a cinema and concentrate. Basically whatever makes it someone else's fault except mine.

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Review: Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil, and Vile is none of those things

Movie Review | Ali Gray | 7th May 2019

About ten years ago, when I was making my first cautious foray into screenwriting, I came up with a concept for a slasher movie with a difference. The main protagonist, you see, would be the killer, but the audience don't see him as a deranged serial murderer, they see him as a mentally disturbed person being harangued by groups of sexy young teens who keep humping each other all over his abandoned summer camp or something. It was going to be very edgy with a shocking twist with a capital 'T'. Then one day I sat down and tried to write it and realised not only was it impossible to fully conceptualise, but the concept was also, in fact, terrible. Not to worry though: looks like someone eventually made a film out of my shit idea.

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Bleed For This

Movie Review | Ed Williamson | 4th December 2016

Trouble with all boxing films: they aren't Rocky. Rocky not only set the benchmark, but the template, out of which no one's really managed to break: guy has to overcome adversity, the other boxer is a metaphor for his life, and his real opponent is himself. True-lifer Bleed For This is a bit different. But not that different.

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Ted 2

Movie Review | Matt Looker | 3rd July 2015

10-20 years from now, future generations will look back on this decade and cringe at how their parents and grandparents belly-laughed at the offensive, nonsense humour of Seth MacFarlane, in much the same way as we do now at old sitcoms from the 70s. Clips of Family Guy's most near-knuckle gags will be shown in TV documentaries that explain how the 2010s were a less civilised era, before society learned to behave like better people. Luckily, we are already on the cusp of more progressive times as the tide has started to turn against the squeaky-faced MacFarlane’s now-familiar string of stoner/racist/pop culture/left field references. 2015 is truly a cornerstone year as MacFarlane Fatigue has firmly set in and, on the basis of Ted 2, it's easy to see why.

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Masters of Sex: The Complete First Season DVD

TV Review | Iain Robertson | 1st August 2014

You can imagine the pitch meeting for Masters Of Sex: "It's like Mad Men – but with boobs!" Whilst it's not an entirely inaccurate description – there's lots of attractive people in fabulous period costumes, smoking, slow-burning plots aplenty and, yes, boobs (not to mention a never-ending parade of other body parts, both male and female) – it's very much its own show. For a start, at no point in Mad Men does anyone brandish a dildo called Ulysses, although Don could probably do one hell of an ad campaign for it.

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Muppets Most Wanted

Movie Review | Rob Young | 25th March 2014

As the jovial opening number points out, the Muppets are back, by popular demand. Because that's what they do in Hollywood, even if everybody knows the sequel's never quite as good. Nevertheless, the studio considers them a viable franchise. The tune, happily poking fun at Hollywood's fascination with sequels, is just one of the many self-depreciating, self-aware gags that litter this sequel.

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Top 20 TV shows of 2013

TV Feature | Ed Williamson, Matt Looker, Rob Young, Luke Whiston, Iain Robertson, Neil Alcock | 31st December 2013

In years to come, we will remember 2013 as the year everything changed. Danny Dyer is now in Eastenders, and across the land all else has ceased to matter. But look upon the works of this medium, now so wholly transformed, and you will see more than this. And you might think it handy that some berk put it all in a list and bid you read it.

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Magneto's guide to picking up women, lesson #1: Chat-up lines

Movie Feature | Ali Gray | 30th October 2013

Next week: Professor X on how to really get inside a woman's head.

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Separated at birth?

Movie News | Ali Gray | 8th October 2013

It's okay, Jeremy. Not everyone can wear a moustache.

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