William Fichtner

News, Reviews & Features
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

    Movie Review | Ali Gray | 12th October 2014

    So I finally got old. Morning: doctor's appointment for dry skin. Afternoon: phone calls with estate agents and surveyors and mortgage advisors. Evening: still-aching limbs from a football match played 48 hours previously. I startle awake to find myself sat in a Paramount screening room ready to watch the latest iteration of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, a phenomenon I was probably too old to enjoy guilt-free the first time round a quarter of a century ago. "Let's see those hands in the air!" says a company spokesperson, urging attendees to don the giant green foam hands provided for a photo opportunity. I am secretly glad I didn't pick any up on the way in. Because I am old as fuck.

  • Elysium

    Movie Review | Neil | 9th August 2013

    There is a point in Elysium when Matt Damon's character Max DeCosta suffers a massive dose of radiation in an accident in his workplace. At that moment the film looks like it could go one of two ways: either it's a lengthy commercial for a "no win, no fee" claims handler (don't do it Max, go to Citizens Advice), or it's a superhero origin story, and Damon is about to slip into some lycra and kill people with his granite-hard man boobs. You'll be unsurprised to read that Elysium is in fact neither, which is great for those of us who hate those ads, but less good for anyone who was hoping for MaxMan: Tits Of Thunder.

  • Grrrrrr! Win Drive Angry on DVD

    Movie Competition | Ali | 4th July 2011

    It's out on DVD today, but if you're a horrible, poor hobo without a penny to your name, you can win one of three copies of Drive Angry on DVD. Maybe you can sell them for crack if you win!

  • Drive Angry 3D

    Movie Review | Ali | 25th February 2011

    Remember when I said the 101 reasons to love Nicolas Cage feature would be the last thing we did on Nicolas Cage this week? I lied.