Clash Of The Titans trailer scores -300

Louis Leterrier's remake of Clash Of The Titans has a trailer. Giant scorpions! Jumping! Thrash metal! Random bits of scenery! And the worst tagline of any film, ever! By Zeus, it looks like 300, only terrible!

The original Clash Of The Titans is not a film I feel particularly precious about; it was fun at the time, but with Ray Harryhausen's stop-motion animation techniques in full flow, hasn't aged well. It has all the ingredients for a kick-ass update - mythical monsters, swords and sorcery and vengeful Gods.

Why, then, does this trailer look like a shitty 300 knock-off? Right from the opening shot of a Persian-looking bad guy, you can see Zack Snyder's oily romp is a huge influence. The less said about the random jumping, slo-mo and man-skirts the better.

As trailers go, this looks like a rush-job. Slow it down and go frame by frame as I have and you'll see lots of shots of nothing in particular - half-glimpsed locations, things flying through the air, people's legs etc. It's a classic technique for when a studio wants to rush out a trailer and the appropriate footage isn't ready yet. "Cover it with thrash metal and edit it to within in inch of its life, the proles will never know!"

What you do get to see is Sam Worthington looking angry, giant frickin' scorpions, big snakes (but no Medusa) and a shot of Liam Neeson's Zeus in full armour having a bit of a strop in his armchair. Presumably he's as pissed at last Saturday's X Factor as the rest of us.

And that tagline? 'Titans Will Clash'? Really? How much money did they pay the marketing execs for that one? Placeholder text or what? I didn't go to a fancy-schmancy film school but I know how to move words into a different order. I propose a new, more accurate tagline: Movie... Will... Suck.