First trailer for UK thriller Shank aka Broken Britain: The Movie

Posted by Ali at 12:59 on 14 Feb 2010

Check out the first trailer for British grime movie, Shank: it's The Daily Mail's nightmarish vision of where our fine country is headed. Also, it has the worst movie synopsis ever written, and other stuff to laugh at.

While I try hard not to become a cynical douchebag and knock everything I see just for the sake of it, some films are just asking for it. Most of them British. And Shank is no exception.

If you asked any tabloid hate athlete like Jan Moir or Carole Malone to write a film about the state of the UK in 2015, Shank looks like the kind of reactonary bobbins they'd squeeze out. The gangs have taken over. Conversation is conducted at knife-point. There's black people everywhere. Truly terrifying.

How about this for a synopsis? This is repeated verbatim from the movie's official press release, I promise I haven't made any of this up.

"My name is Junior and I live in the squalor. London, 2015, roads gone to shit. Gangs taken over, shottas rule the blocks, streets proper sticky. If you ain't one of us, you're a victim, so gotta stay sharp these days, and know heads. You don't see guns or drugs on roads no more, munchies taken over.

That's what mans need, that's what mans want. So that's how I make my living, selling munchies. Me, my mandem the Paper Chaserz, and our pitbull Dutty who keep his eye out, cos roads physical these days, no long ting. This is my story, about me, my brother, our gang, and a badman named Tugz.

How I gotta decide, take revenge, or escape. Cos some days you wake up and know it could be you getting killed today. then some days you wake up and think - today it could be me doing the killing. When you living in the squalor, sometimes you just gotta look for the beauty."

Your pitbull is called Dutty? Get out! My pitbull is also called Dutty! And, okay, I can't argue with some of those points: the shottas do rule the blocks around my estate, and even the most strident mandem can't deny the roads have been feeling more and more sticky lately.

Ugh. Why do I get the feeling this was written by a white, middle-class man named Tarquin? How else can you explain character names like Kickz, Craze, Sweet Boy, Ree Ree, Lexy, Tugz, Boogie, Beano, Breezer and Merkin Souljah? I guess no one in the future is called Alan anymore.

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Posted by Pandaemonium at 20:05 on 07/04/10

I've just been reading Releaselog, and have read this description for this movie.

"PLOT: Award-winning filmmaker Simon Pearce takes the helm for this gritty coming-of-age story about a teenage gang member who keeps his homosexuality a secret from his fellow thugs. Eighteen-year-old Cal (Wayne Virgo) is all about sex, drugs, and violence. He's a hoodlum at heart, but his sexual urges set him apart from the pack. Despite random hookups, it's fellow gangster Jonno (Tom Bott) that Cal really wants. Secretly pining for Jonno from afar, Cal gets uneasy when de facto gang leader Nessa grows suspicious of his sexuality. When Nessa commands the gang to mug an innocent student named Oliver (Marc Laurent) and the incident turns into a gay bashing, Cal distracts the gang momentarily so Oliver can escape. Worried about the repercussions of his impulsive act of heroism, Cal seeks help from Oliver, who offers him a place to stay until it all blows over. With Oliver, Cal can finally be himself, and the two men slowly fall in love. But Nessa is out for revenge, and she's determined to hit Cal where it hurts the most."

Surely these can't be the same movie?

[edit] Aha, they aren't. Same title, different years.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1320296/
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1288571/

I was thinking that this trailer was hugely misleading if it was a gay coming-of-age story.

Although I do get a wry smile thinking about chavs that accidentally hire the gay one out after a recommendation from a friend expecting the 2010 one.

Edited at 20:11 on 07/04/10

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