Advertise with us

Trailer

First trailer for UK thriller Shank aka Broken Britain: The Movie

Movie Trailer

Ali

14th February 2010

Check out the first trailer for British grime movie, Shank: it's The Daily Mail's nightmarish vision of where our fine country is headed. Also, it has the worst movie synopsis ever written, and other stuff to laugh at.

While I try hard not to become a cynical douchebag and knock everything I see just for the sake of it, some films are just asking for it. Most of them British. And Shank is no exception.

If you asked any tabloid hate athlete like Jan Moir or Carole Malone to write a film about the state of the UK in 2015, Shank looks like the kind of reactonary bobbins they'd squeeze out. The gangs have taken over. Conversation is conducted at knife-point. There's black people everywhere. Truly terrifying.

How about this for a synopsis? This is repeated verbatim from the movie's official press release, I promise I haven't made any of this up.

"
"
"My name is Junior and I live in the squalor. London, 2015, roads gone to shit. Gangs taken over, shottas rule the blocks, streets proper sticky. If you ain't one of us, you're a victim, so gotta stay sharp these days, and know heads. You don't see guns or drugs on roads no more, munchies taken over.

That's what mans need, that's what mans want. So that's how I make my living, selling munchies. Me, my mandem the Paper Chaserz, and our pitbull Dutty who keep his eye out, cos roads physical these days, no long ting. This is my story, about me, my brother, our gang, and a badman named Tugz.

How I gotta decide, take revenge, or escape. Cos some days you wake up and know it could be you getting killed today. then some days you wake up and think - today it could be me doing the killing. When you living in the squalor, sometimes you just gotta look for the beauty."
Your pitbull is called Dutty? Get out! My pitbull is also called Dutty! And, okay, I can't argue with some of those points: the shottas do rule the blocks around my estate, and even the most strident mandem can't deny the roads have been feeling more and more sticky lately.

Ugh. Why do I get the feeling this was written by a white, middle-class man named Tarquin? How else can you explain character names like Kickz, Craze, Sweet Boy, Ree Ree, Lexy, Tugz, Boogie, Beano, Breezer and Merkin Souljah? I guess no one in the future is called Alan anymore.

More:  Shank  Broken Britain  Gangsters
Follow us on Twitter @The_Shiznit for more fun features, film reviews and occasional commentary on what the best type of crisps are.
We are using Patreon to cover our hosting fees. So please consider chucking a few digital pennies our way by clicking on this link. Thanks!

Share This

Possibly Related

Support Us

We are now using Patreon to cover some of our hosting fees. So if you like our brand of "content" and would like to see us do more, please consider chucking a few digital pennies our way by clicking on the link below. Thanks!

Patreon logo

Follow Us

Recent Highlights

Advertisement

Advertise with us

And The Rest

Quick Links

Jurassic Park Star Wars Marvel DC Superheroes and that Batman Nicolas Cage Posters John Travolta Mission: Impossible Horror Movies Netflix Reviews Cine-CHAT-ic Universe Truthful Posters
Advertise with us