John Carpenter's still got it

Good news? John Carpenter is making movies again. Bad news? Prepare for possibly the worst trailer of the ENTIRE YEAR so far.

In the interests of fairness, I'll let you watch John Carpenter's Trailer for John Carpenter's The Ward before I lay into it.



It's not just me, right? Something smells like ass in here and I just bathed. Carpenter is a horror legend, but I reckon if you haven't made a movie for ten years, and that movie was Ghosts Of Mars, you don't deserve to have a title credit any more. Not that I want to bruise John Carpenter's Pride or diminish John Carpenter's Achievements, but... Jesus.

In case you missed them, here are some of the trailer's actual lines:

Now that's some deep and meaningful shit right there. John Carpenter's Knack For Dialogue is clearly better than ever. And hey, if you're going to set your movie in a young women's institution, you gotta have a sexy shower scene, right? John Carpenter's Aroused.

All of which would be fine if John Carpenter's The Ward looked scary, but the trailer kind of spoils the surprise by flashing up an image of the ghost that's terrorising all those sexy nutcases. Prepare to be shitted up...


Or not. Sad ghost is sad. She's only marginally more frightening than John Carpenter himself, these days.