Let's pretend we all love Terrence Malick's Tree Of Life trailer

It's good, but it's clearly no The A-Team.

I'm no philistine, but I know a boring movie when I see one. I'm officially calling it: The Tree Of Life will be the movie in 2011 that everyone pretends to love. From this trailer, I'm identifying themes of familial tension, isolation, the loss of innocence and exploration of the soul. So, in other words, three straight hours wishing you were in Screen 1 watching Transformers 3.

Terrence Malick is godlike among movie nerds, solely because he takes his time between choosing movies, like an old lady checks the dates on milk cartons. He waited 20 years between directing Days Of Heaven and The Thin Red Line, but only pondered for six years between The New World and this. By my reckoning, that means The Tree Of Life will only be around 30% as good as his last film. You can't argue with maths, Terrence.

But wait, what am I saying: of course this arthouse movie starring a miserable Sean Penn without any robots will be amazing. 'Enjoy'.