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  • The X Factor: season 15, semi-final recap: "It's the same old song"

    TV Feature | Matthew Horton | 26th November 2018

    As Benjamin Franklin once said, there are only three things that are certain in life: death, taxes and pre-GCSE hip-hop sensations Acacia & Aaliyah singing Skepta's Shutdown if The X Factor happens to be on. Look it up. When he wasn't flying kites or finding nations, that guy couldn't half predict a teen grime duo. Sorry, what's that? Franklin my Benjamins, it's only the X Factor semi-final!

  • The Apprentice: season 14, episode 8 recap: "Don't Make an Exhibition of Yourself"

    TV Feature | Ed Williamson | 21st November 2018

    I worked in an art gallery for a year or so. A guest at an event once asked me to order him a taxi, so I called a minicab, then when it turned up outside he obviously thought it was too downmarket and so pretended he didn't realise it was for him and continued to wait in the foyer. I let him sit and wait. He sat there for a good ten minutes before it drove away, then another five before he wandered over and asked whether his taxi was on its way. "Oh, you mean the minicab that was outside?" he said, feigning a puzzled look, when I told him it had just left. "I presumed that couldn't have been for me." And the moral of this story is that all art galleries should be burned down.

  • The X Factor: season 15, 5th live show recap: "Rules? I AM the rules!"

    TV Feature | Matthew Horton | 19th November 2018

    It's Big Band Week! You know Big Band Week. It's when the finalists sing any song they like, in any style they fancy, just as long as there's a big band somewhere in the room, playing or otherwise. And that's not the only rule bent out of shape this weekend. No. They also flout all of the others. It's like nothing matters anymore.

  • The Apprentice: season 14, episode 7 recap: "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad Gardener's World"

    TV Feature | Becky Suter | 15th November 2018

    In many ways, good leadership is a lot like gardening. You need to plant seeds of ideas, nurture growth, and sometimes get your hands dirty. You need to trust the process, and have patience whilst rooting out weeds in order to flourish. Or if you’re Lord Sugar, just pour salt on the earth so that nothing beautiful can ever grow again.

  • The X Factor: season 15, 4th live show recap: “What happens in Ibiza…”

    TV Feature | Matthew Horton | 12th November 2018

    When did Nile Rodgers meet all these X Factor finalists in Ibiza? Were we supposed to have watched all the auditions and six-chair challenges and judges’ houses stages and stuff? These questions and more not even close to answered as we arrive at one of the highlights of the X Factor calendar: Movie Week! It’s right up there...

  • The Apprentice: season 14, episode 6 recap: "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet"

    TV Feature | Ed Williamson | 7th November 2018

    I'm happily watching the snooker on ITV4. It's an engrossing second-round match in the Champion of Champions tournament in which Kyren Wilson is opening up a confident lead over Judd Trump, and I'm nicely settled in after dinner and oh, what's this notification on my phone? Why, it's a Google Calendar reminder to OH SHIT I'VE GOT TO WATCH THE FUCKING APPRENTICE

  • The X Factor: season 15, 3rd live show recap: "DALEKGATE"

    TV Feature | Matthew Horton | 5th November 2018

    The third live show of this year's X Factor was a total fiasco. They also had problems with the sound. Thank goodness Nile Rodgers was there to save the day, the Chic disco don standing in for Robbie Williams when he swans off on tour to South America or whatever excuse he's using to strand his wife in the UK without him for a fortnight. Still, Nile Rodgers. The elusive Nile Rodgers. Did you know you only get to see Nile if you say his name into a mirror three times? And every time you turn on the telly.

  • The Apprentice: season 14, episode 5 recap: "A Load of Old Cobblers"

    TV Feature | Becky Suter | 2nd November 2018

    Sneakerfactory.net (the one-stop shop for all your shoe consultation needs) provides the basic steps into how to become a shoe designer; learn how to draw, go to a design school, get a shoe mentor, build a portfolio and read plenty of books. Or, just do it because a grumpy old millionaire has told you to do it in 24 hours, and oh, can you make the canapés for the launch event as well? What even is this any more?

  • The X Factor: season 15, 2nd live show recap: "Guilty! Pleasure?"

    TV Feature | Matthew Horton | 29th October 2018

    We've just remembered The X Factor's still going, so let's get back on board with Britain's second favourite talent show featuring Simon Cowell. There's a lot to catch up on. Robbie Williams has found himself a wife, Louis Walsh has been replaced by a whole new Louis and it's all on telly at about midnight so it doesn't get embarrassed by Strictly. It's time! To face! The music! Or an approximation thereof.

  • The Apprentice: season 14, episode 4 recap: "Crotch Socks"

    TV Feature | Ed Williamson | 25th October 2018

    I don't go to the gym. In a sense the street is my gym, but in another, more real sense, it's a street, down which I walk, not going into gyms, and eating Greggs ham and cheese pasties.