News, Reviews & Features
  • Everywhere I look I see Walter White

    Movie Feature | Ali | 18th September 2013

    Even this lovely minimalist poster for Alexander Payne's Nebraska gives me a 'meth overlord' vibe. Has... has anyone got any meth?

  • Stop the online film blogging community, I want to get off!

    Movie Feature | Ali | 17th September 2013

    The image of online film critics has taken a real hit this week. First a prominent writer for WhatCulture! (their exclamation mark, not mine – I'd replace it with a question mark) was revealed as a serial plagiarist and then a writer for JoBlo posted a feature comparing the breasts of two underage actresses. Join me as I despairingly ask: isn't anyone taking this seriously? Where are all the grown ups?

  • First picture of Nicole Kidman in The Stepford Wives 2: Monaco Mistresses

    Movie News | Ali | 16th September 2013

    Jokes, guys: this is really the first picture from Grace Of Monaco. Either Nicole Kidman has actually discovered the secret of eternal youth, she's been digitally de-aged for the role or she's a fembot built for your pleasure.

  • In A World...

    Movie Review | Ali | 13th September 2013

    Hollywood is patently ridiculous. It just is. There is no element of the filmmaking business that isn't stupid as hell. You have studios spending hundreds of millions of dollars on adaptations of 1930s radio serials. You have actors who talk about artistic integrity while promoting their animated guinea pig movie. You have audiences who actually hand over their hard-earned cash to see Adam Sandler in Grown Ups 2, a film which – if it isn't some elaborate sting engineered in order to separate morons from their money – is just a sick fucking joke.

  • Confirmed: Joseph Mazzello to probably star in Jurassic World

    Movie News | Ali | 12th September 2013

    Four hours later and still no reply. I'm sure you'll agree, his silence speaks volumes (about how badly this website is run).

    Edit: Sam Neill has also cryptically joined in the media blackout surrounding rumours that he'll star in Jurassic World. Not a single peep from him. Or Jeff Goldblum. I'll keep you posted as to who else isn't saying they're not in it.

  • Rush

    Movie Review | Ali | 11th September 2013

    It is a sad fact of life that, more often than not, the extrovert will receive attention while the introvert goes unnoticed – the loudest person in the room will overshadow the most interesting. From a distance, Ron Howard's F1 biopic Rush appears to be magnetised towards race driver/rock star James Hunt (played by undeniable hunk Chris Hemsworth) as he tussles on the track with rat-like rival Niki Lauda (Daniel Brühl wearing a prosthetic overbite). Hollywood has hard-wired me to believe that beautiful rule-breakers deserve more screen time than unglamorous by-the-bookers, but I'm happy to report that Rush is a surprisingly balanced account of two men who, for two hours at least, make Formula 1 look like the most noble of gladiator sports, and not just a giant Scalextric being played by a bored millionaire.

  • Say my name.

    Movie Feature | Ali | 10th September 2013

    You're damn right.

  • Please clarify, getting mixed signals re: whether this is a game or not

    Movie News | Ali | 9th September 2013

    New poster for Ender's Game claims it's not a game, but then if it's not a game, why is it called Ender's Game? This game movie sounds too complicated, when's Grown Ups 3 out? (Via IMP).

  • Trailer breakdown: RoboCop aka the roboplegic wrong-cop

    Movie Trailer | Ali | 8th September 2013

    RoboCop - he insists you capitalise the 'C' because he's so insecure - has had his system rebooted. Here's your first look at RoboCop 2.0 (or I dunno, 8.1 or whatever, I can't keep up with all the RoboCop sequels and TV series and cartoons) with Joel Kinnaman as the man in the machine and Abbie Cornish as the woman he loves. Let's be honest, this looks exactly how you'd expect a 12A RoboCop movie to look i.e. about as good as RobertCop.

  • This is not news, Vol. #2,786

    Movie Feature | Ali | 4th September 2013

    Here's a refresher. Hans Zimmer IS providing the score for Batman Vs Superman? This IS news. Hans Zimmer ISN'T providing the score for Batman Vs Superman? This is BARELY news. But Hans Zimmer may or may not provide the score for Batman Vs Superman depending on myriad factors that have yet to come about because the film isn't being released for another two years? This ISN'T news. For fuck's sake. (Via