Neil

News, Reviews & Features

Behind The Candelabra

Movie Review | Neil | 4th June 2013

"Too much of a good thing can be wonderful", claims Michael Douglas as Liberace in this bling-soaked biopic, and while recent developments suggest that he might want to qualify that statement by suggesting one at least goes easy on the knicker bacon sandwiches, he could still very well be referring to his own performance. His performance in the film, I mean, not between the folds of Catherine Zeta Jones' funflaps. Honestly, you people.

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Spielberg and Day-Lewis' latest "even funnier than Lincoln"

Movie Feature | Neil | 28th April 2013

My knowledge of American politics is as thorough as my knowledge of 12th century porridge mining, but on this evidence I'd totally vote for Daniel Day-Lewis.

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The best of #ThorInLondon

Movie Feature | Neil | 23rd April 2013

The release of the first teaser for Thor: The Dark World revealed that one of the film's thrilling locations was ye olde London Town, home of this very blog what it is that you are reading. Taking my cue from this flimsy starting point, I achieved a lifelong ambition by creating a Twitter hashtag that didn't die a death within five minutes: #ThorInLondon. And then, to push my luck even further, I made a whole blog post out of it. Coming soon, Thor In London: The Movie Of The Blog Post Of The Hashtag Of The Trailer Of The Movie.

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Prepare to have your ears ironed, or something

Movie Feature | Neil | 23rd April 2013

We're not allowed to unleash our Iron Man 3 - sorry, IRON MAN THREE - review until tomorrow, but I don't think anyone at IM PR HQ will pop a sprocket if we reveal that Brian Tyler's end credits music is BER-RILLIANT. Here be proof.

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Original Weird Science trailer speaks out about remake

Movie Feature | Neil | 21st April 2013

With the news surfacing like an unflushed turd that Universal are planning to remake Weird Science, we decided to ask the only source to which we had access what they thought about it. Yep, we asked the original film's trailer. Just go with it, OK? It's Sunday.

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The Place Beyond The Pines

Movie Review | Neil | 8th April 2013

One of the conditions of me joining The Shiznit after closing down my own unbelievably popular and hilarious film blog was that I would become the site's Gosling Correspondent: any and all Ryan Goslingness would have to pass through me before it made it onto the internet. The rest of the team made a bit of a fuss, but when I took my shirt off to reveal my full chest tattoo of Ryan's face, they soon agreed to all my demands. Turns out I didn't need to take my trousers and pants off as well, but still, in for a penny, in for a pound.

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G.I. Joe: Retaliation tube poster makes as much sense as the film

Movie Feature | Neil | 26th March 2013

I don't know what is takes, but I'm pretty sure I don't have is.

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Spring Breakers

Movie Review | Neil | 24th March 2013

Harmony Korine isn't like other filmmakers, and his films aren't like other films. Anyone who saw Trash Humpers will have noticed that it was difficult to compare to anything else in its genre, because the genre of movies about people wearing grotesque masks and having sex with bins contains precisely one film: Trash Humpers. This is obviously a good thing: cinema needs mavericks like Korine to come along once in a while and kick the medium up the bum. To some extent it doesn't even matter whether or not his films are any good. He's an artist, and his films are statements.

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Future Cinema: Casablanca

Movie Feature | Neil | 16th March 2013

You may recall that late last year Matt was forced to go and watch Grease at a Future Cinema event by his wife. Well, I've gone one better: I forced my wife to go and watch Casablanca at the latest Future Cinema screening, and neither of us had to do a single hand jive. I did have to pretend to be a humourless resistance fighter and allow the missus to have it off with a rakish bar owner though, so, you know... swings and roundabouts.

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The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

Movie Review | Neil | 12th March 2013

In order to raise this review to an intellectual level beyond all others, I learned the word 'prestidigitation', which means 'sleight of hand': the cunning technique by which magicians fool you into thinking you really do have a neverending supply of loose change behind your ears. That done, all I need to do now is slip it casually into my prose, like, oh, I don't know, a magician employing prestidigitation. That was pretty smooth, right? (*runs away in a puff of smoke*)

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