Rob

News, Reviews & Features

The Conjuring

Movie Review | Rob | 31st July 2013

Take one old farm house, the more secluded the better; throw in a close-knit family excited about their new dream home; if they've got a young daughter prone to imaginary friends then that's absolute perfection. Chuck in a few slamming doors and kids yanked from their beds and you've got the recipe for a chilling, if unoriginal horror movie.

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Jack The Giant Slayer

Movie Review | Rob | 22nd March 2013

Having grown up in a small, middle-class Conservative-voting Cambridgeshire village, Iâ€™ve seen enough poorly-acted productions of Jack and The Beanstalk to know when something isnâ€™t quite right. And "Fe-fi-fo-fum, ask not whence the thunder comes" isn't quite right.

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The Croods

Movie Review | Rob | 20th March 2013

The Croods raises some interesting questions. Such as: where can I find me some giant corncobs? What's up with that flying tortoise/parrot thing? Is it weird to be attracted to an animalistic red-headed cave girl who runs on all fours? And why canâ€™t I stop staring at that dude's distractingly convincing CGI nipples? At least, these were my thoughts upon leaving the screening of this film. I hope for their sake that the children in attendance werenâ€™t thinking the same as me.

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Robot & Frank

Movie Review | Rob | 7th March 2013

So it was back in December when I saw Jake Schreier's slightly futuristic indie debut. (*glances at calendar*) And, as I write this, it's now March. That's some work-rate, huh.

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Why does nobody like Leslie Mann?

Movie Feature | Rob | 27th October 2012

Leslie Mann is, by all accounts, a happily married mother of two, who occasionally appears in husband Judd Apatow's films, usually playing the mother of her own kids. She has a happy family, life is good. Then how come whenever she's on screen, everyone always hates her?

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Paranormal Activity 4

Movie Review | Rob | 16th October 2012

So, four films in - we all know the routine by now, don't we? A family set up cameras around the house after strange phenomenons occur. All manner of ghostly ill behaviour ensues, audiences jump, people die. See you next October for much of the same.

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The Sweeney

Movie Review | Rob | 11th September 2012

"We're The Sweeney, shithead. You're nicked!" grunts Ray Winstone after a rather brutal pre-title sequence. With that, Nick Love goes all Batman Begins with his gritty, swear-filled, unapologetic vision of The Sweeney - a far cry from the dodgy trousers, funny haircuts and, I imagine, casual racism and flagrant sexism of the John Thaw and Dennis Waterman days. The '70s, huh? Good times.

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The Watch

Movie Review | Rob | 25th August 2012

2004. Anyone recall what happened that year? There was a football tournament I think? I do remember failing my first driving test because I went to see Dodgeball that same night to cheer myself up. And in a tedious way to link to this film, that was the last time Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn shared a screen together. Since then, neither has really been keeping the funnies consistently flowing. I passed my driving test by the way.

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Step Up 4: Miami Heat

Movie Review | Rob | 9th August 2012

For a guy with little interest in 'street performance art' or whatever the hell it's called, it's astonishing that I've seen all three Step Up movies, StreetDance 2 and the original Footloose. It also means that I'm probably the site's most qualified writer to tackle this dance-friendly fourquel. I have no idea how this has happened. I CAN'T EVEN DANCE!

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Dr. Seuss' The Lorax

Movie Review | Rob | 24th July 2012

While everyone is still going nuts about The Dark Knight Rises (and rightly so because it's awesome), let's not forget there are other films out as well. Like this one, for example â€“ a brightly-coloured, sickening mass of environmental propaganda dressed up as a kids film, that'll make your offspring ask lots of questions, like "Daddy, why aren't we watching Batman?"

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