20 reasons for Hollywood's worst summer in 20 years

Ali Gray

8th September 2017

It's official: this summer was the worst summer for movies in over 20 years. Labor Day box-office receipts were down 45% compared to the same weekend in 2016, leaving analysts to declare summer 2017 a total cinematic washout. But why? I mean, obviously all the movies were terrible, but why really? We went in search of answers and by God, we found them.

Movies like Dax Shepard's action-comedy '70s TV remake CHiPS just not resonating with millennials for some reason

No one willing to go into cinema for two hours in case civilisation outside collapsed while they'd been offline

Guy Ritchie movies now so unsuccessful they are making negative money

Tentative audiences stayed away from tentpole movies in case they found out they were part of the DC Cinematic Universe

Taylor Swift somehow to blame

The owners of the rotten old website that assigns a percentage to the critical consensus are meanies who won't play fair with the sensitive movie studios

Will Smith no longer writing upbeat rap songs for films he stars in

Audiences turned off by movies with complicated concepts like Monster Trucks and The Emoji Movie

Reviews made clear that Transformers: The Last Knight had a grasp on medieval history that was less-than scholarly

A female-fronted superhero movie ruined cinema forever meaning men are not allowed to enjoy films any more

See? No men allowed. #HollywoodSoFemale

Moviegoers attending Luc Besson's Valerian movie really hoping for a city more in the region of 1,500 planets, maybe 2,000 tops

Tom Cruise's reboot of The Mummy left audiences shellshocked at realisation that Brendan Fraser now considered the superior actor

Would-be punters uncomfortable at practice of Hollywood 'whitewashing' just wanted to enjoy Scarlett Johansson in a nude bodysuit and a nice uncomplicated erection

No Michael Haneke tentpole

Netflix increasingly hoovering up all the best movies at acquisition level, like all the ones that are about 29 shows deep on your Watchlist

Despite playful Harry Styles cameo, Christopher Nolan's Dunkirk was low on cheeky shenanigans and sorely lacked memorable pop anthem

American audiences steered clear of The Dark Tower due to similarities to 9/11, Sony assumes

Still not enough Marvel movies

Everyone flat out sick of the sight of Zac Efron's nipples, will him to put on a damn shirt

Turns out no one gives a shit about Power Rangers

Thankfully summer is now over and frazzled audiences who have suffered a year of race hate, extreme weather and threats of nuclear war can now relax with the nice killer clown movie.

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