Feature

25 geniuses who actually think the Sony hack was a publicity stunt

Ali Gray

23rd December 2014

The cyber-detectives of Twitter have seen right through the biggest #conspiracytheory of the year: Sony hacking themselves and flirting with ruin in order to publicise a movie in which Seth Rogen shoves a tracking device up his arse. We're through the looking glass...


Hey, you're right! Trust those olfactory senses of yours!


Looks like we've got a #marketing graduate in the house!


The one thing that could cause the conspiracy to come crashing down: the star talking openly about the plan at the film's premiere! They would have got away with it too, if it wasn't for you pesky kids!


It's true: Sony, a Japanese company, would love for America to get into a war with North Korea. I mean, that's just basic politics.


Somebody needs to take a long, hard look at themselves in the mirror, naming no names, SONY PICTURES.


Hey The Guardian, this guy's got a PHd, better listen to him!


This guy called it.


I think we can all agree this has been great coverage for Sony.


#QuestionEverything #ThinkMore


Tomorrow: 1-1,000,000 (and you can take that to the bank).


Sony executive: "Look guys, we all had our fun pretending to start a cyber-war with a nuclear nation, but we've been rumbled now and it'd be too bloody embarrassing to come clean now. Let's just ride it out and hope no one notices. Maybe leak some more Jennifer Lawrence nudes to get the heat off us for a while?"


I AM FAVOURITING THIS TWEET 10X


Actually it's about ethics in film journalism etc etc


"Whereas I can see all with my third eye."


I will follow you anywhere, sir_cornflake.


And then Seth Rogen goes into Witness Protection and he's the dad from Malcolm In The Middle.


Please wire all of your savings to my own personal bank account and I will place the bet for you whenever I get around to it.


Pretty high I reckon!


#Illuminati #WakeUp #Subliminals #JamesFlacco


(*pictures Sony CEO wincing when he sees 'thumbs down emoji'*)


Yep, it's just you.


It is entirely possible Leo does not have a solid understanding of global economics.


The North Koreans are in on it too? This thing goes all the way to the top!


So simple. So cheap. So...ny.


Well we're all taking about Crackle, so mission accomplished, Sony!
So let's go over this genius publicity stunt one more time, for the poor pathetic sheeple who can't wake up and smell the corporate bullshit!

STEP 1: Purposely leak all sensitive company information to the media, including private emails painting company executives as racists and ranting lunatics, unfinished scripts and entire movies that are not yet in cinemas.

STEP 2: Incur the wrath of a pissed-off nuclear nation with a hatred for the West by letting the FBI and the President of the United States in on the gag and getting them to accuse North Korea of an act of cyber war.

STEP 3: Bow to 'terrorist demands' by pulling The Interview two weeks before release and scrapping all advertising at an estimated loss of $200 million dollars.

STEP 4: Become the laughing stock of Hollywood and see your company shares take an irreversible nosedive.

STEP 5: Do an about face and agree to give The Interview a "limited release" after all.

STEP 6: ????

STEP 7: PROFIT!!!

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