Five great Godzilla sequel ideas that are totally appropriate

Ali Gray

18th May 2014

Gareth Edwards' Godzilla - coincidentally his film and what he calls his own penis - is enjoying a monster opening weekend, scaring up $93 million in his first three days of re-release. Because that number is lots, the sequel bell has been rung in the Legendary Pictures office, signifying that a new Godzilla movie will be forthcoming, and there's nothing any of us can do about it. Except, of course, pitch some ideas to Edwards and co.

Godzillhog Day

The King of Monsters returns from the briny deep to battle more giant MUTO creatures, coming to humanity's aid once more while mankind watches on in awe, thinking in the back of their head they're pretty sure this has definitely happened at least once before.
For Fuck's Sake, Godzilla

Lacklustre sequel in which Godzilla emerges from the ocean, not to fight off terrifying new mutant beasts, but because he's, like, so bored. At first, the citizens of California enjoy the overbearing presence of their scaly saviour, but after a few weeks of him just loafing around, accidentally knocking down buildings like a klutz and blocking out the sun, he quickly outstays his welcome with a notoriously fickle public, who turn their attention to whichever Spider-Man is currently doing the rounds.
Godzilla Vs Freddy Vs Jason

Ill-advised crossover in which the slasher villains from Crystal Lake and Elm Street prove to be utterly ineffectual against their gargantuan lizard foe. With Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees swiftly flattened in the opening ten minutes, the American public are left to sleep soundly and enjoy local holiday camps while Godzilla nips home for an early dinner.
Godzilla Into Pacific Rim

Contractually obliged sequel in which neither Godzilla or the Jaegers from Pacific Rim look particularly thrilled to be doing battle.
Kramer Vs Kramer Vs Godzilla

Divorce drama directed by famous Spinal Tap filmmaker Marty DiBergi. Says DiBergi: "It's the juxtaposition of which parent would get the child with Godzilla looming over all of them - y'know, maybe Godzilla is going to get the child." Pretty sure this is the most likely to be made.

More:  Godzilla
Follow us on Twitter @The_Shiznit for more fun features, film reviews and occasional commentary on what the best type of crisps are.
We are using Patreon to cover our hosting fees. So please consider chucking a few digital pennies our way by clicking on this link. Thanks!

Share This