Jersey Shore Take Miami

The "stars" of Jersey Shore return to our Shore, and an otherwise intelligent person will be glued to her screen throughout. Let's find out why.

Summer might be ending for us but it’s only just beginning for the Jersey Shore gang as season two fist-pumped its way onto MTV last Sunday. This time, quite possibly to avoid a law suit from the State of New Jersey, Snookie, Situation, and the rest have been let loose in Miami. Expect lots of super tanned, super bad ass Guido drama; cheatin’, beatin’, drinkin’ and creepin’...and one hard day of work a week. Putting the ‘reality’ back in reality TV. It’s all incredibly low-brow, but all hilariously entertaining. And there’s the rub...

Should I try to justify Jersey Shore? Should I try to justify the fact that I keep feeding the MTV beast every week I tune in, and, worse, that I can’t get enough of it? Yes. Probably I should, but methinks it’s a waste of time. There is no justification. Jersey Shore is trash TV at its trashiest, and its success is a sad reflection on a society that will gladly sell its soul for instant gratification and cheap mind candy. But it’s so damn entertaining! As a viewer I’m disgustingly satisfied, as a human bean I’m just disgusted. It’s the age old conflict.

But I know I have only myself to blame. I made my water bed and now I’ll drown in it. Can’t blame MTV; they made a hit TV show, that’s just good business. The Shore is breaking all kinds of records for MTV - the third episode in this series garnered 5.5million viewers, the highest telecast for viewers between 12-34 (that sweet, sweet advertising demographic) for the whole of television in 2010. That’s right. Can’t blame the Jersey Shore cast; in fact, kudos to the delightfully uncomplicated bunch with enough sense to grab this meal ticket. Nope, it’s all on me and the myriad other so called ‘intelligent’ folk who know better but still give in to the kind of base pleasure it seems you can only get watching J-Woww punch someone’s lights out or The Situation getting cosy in the hot tub with a grenade. If you build it they will come, and if you make it we will watch.

This far into the reality TV rabbit-hole the question of ‘realism’ may not even be pertinent anymore. I doubt many viewers are fooled by the genre’s misnomer and think that these series’ are an accurate reflection of ‘reality’, or that they aren’t manipulated in some way; tweaked here and there, nipped and tucked to find the drama. So why do so many willingly devour this constructed version of real life? Is there anything insidious about the illusion it creates, anything cruel in the way we mercilessly throw real people into the line of fire? Or is it all harmless brain fodder, it’s only crime a lack of imagination and blocking up the telly waves for only slightly less time than Wimbledon?

All I know is; colour me a hypocrite – I know everything that’s wrong with Jersey Shore but I’ll keep watching it anyway. And, like any addict, I’ll only be able to quit when I really want to. Till then, I won’t be living my life but I’ll really enjoy watching other people live theirs, fist pumpin’ like a champ. Word.

Fiona's not the only one. Oh, Michael.: