My Google audio history is just recordings of me watching Friends

Ed Williamson

1st April 2017

This is a low point if I'm honest.

I read an article in the Independent that said you can listen to the audio recordings Google's made of you in order to more efficiently mine your very soul and sell it back to you.

Especially if you've got an Android phone there'll probably be a few: sure, having the voice recognition bit where you can say "OK Google" then ask it a question is handy - though if you've any proper sense of shame about strangers knowing anything about you you'll do it very quietly if in public - but in order for it to recognise you're saying that, it has to be listening all the time, right? THINK ABOUT IT.

This year's been a quiet one so far and I've been engaged in a full rewatch of Friends. (Seen them all before but never in order, and it's an eye-opener, more of which later, probably some time.) Obviously my phone's been right next to me the whole time because my attention span is shot to twat, so it turns out that sometimes Google hears something on Friends and thinks it's my voice. Here are the recordings.

Based on this, it seems that my voice must be very similar to Ross's, or to that of Max, the Minsk-bound partner of David the scientist guy. If you search your own history and discover lots of recordings of Janice, you have my sympathy, but I don't ever want to talk to you about it.

More:  Friends
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