Feature

New Hitman poster makes excellent use of unnecessary helicopters

Ali Gray

2nd March 2015

Good on Hitman: Agent 47 for keeping the trend of unnecessary helicopters in low-quality action movie posters alive and well.

Her's the poster for Hitman: Agent 47, which is guaranteed to be not at all as utterly average as the last Hitman movie(s, or whatever).

Click image for full-size poster


I can just imagine the in-film conversation that led to this scenario.
Sergeant: "Captain, my armed unit has Agent 47 cornered on Main Street. I don't know why but I'm getting a major Inception vibe. Anyway, should I secure the target?"

Captain: "Oh really? Can you, like, hold off for a few more minutes? Because I just ordered-"

Sergeant: "Wha- goddamn it, there's a helicopter overhead. Who the fuck ordered the helicopter? Sir, the excessive noise and blowback from the rotors is causing a disturbance in my comms. I'm going to order we bring in the suspect."

Captain: "How many are there?"

Sergeant: "Say again, Captain?"

Captain: "How many helicopters are there?"

Sergeant: "Just one chopper, sir, I really don't think we ne- oh Jes- sir, did you arrange for a second helicopter on the scene? Because not only is this excessive to the extreme, the second chopper is kinda endangering the first. The troops are distracted, sir."

Captain: "Put more men on the roof!"

Sergeant: "Please repeat, Captain, I can't hear shi-"

Captain: "I WANT MORE MEN ON THE ROOF. Even if most of them are just standing there. This has to look good, I'm up for a big promotion this week and if I don't spend my budget before the end of the fiscal quarter I'll look irresponsible. Does it look cool? I wish I was there."

Sergeant: "Suspect has escaped in the ensuing chaos, repeat, suspect has escaped."

Follow us on Twitter @The_Shiznit for more fun features, film reviews and occasional commentary on what the best type of crisps are.
We are using Patreon to cover our hosting fees. So please consider chucking a few digital pennies our way by clicking on this link. Thanks!

Share This