PLACEHOLDER: 5-star Civil War review [pending Marvel payment] ***DO NOT PUBLISH***

Ali Gray

18th April 2016

Hi guys, just to let you know, the marketing arm of Marvel have been in contact with me as they have with all of the UK press to offer The Shiznit payment for giving Captain America: Civil War a positive review. I'm sure you remember that they already paid us the first £5,000 for giving Batman V Superman a negative review, but they've confirmed that the rest of the bribe will be delivered upon publication of our Civil War review, which I'm seeing tomorrow. Not that it matters.

Just putting up a placeholder preview now with a few generic positive statements which I'm sure we can alter if necessary post-viewing.

As per the Marvel guidelines, the opening paragraph must consider the phrase "best Marvel movie yet" if payment is to be completed. Alternatively, if we want to qualify for an extra payment or bonus backhander, we need to use one or more of the following phrases:

"the best superhero movie ever" = extra £1,500
"the best movie of the year" = extra £2,500
Disparaging mention of DC movies = all-expenses-paid trip to Disneyland

I think I might devote a whole paragraph to Batman V Superman and how 'bad' it was, even though as we've discussed, we all really enjoyed it and are only giving it a hard time because of the global Marvel press conspiracy. I really want to go to Disneyland, guys.

Write a bit here about how the action is the best ever and how the climactic airport scene is incredible. Might be a good place to use the pre-approved hashtags #TeamCap and #TeamIronMan for full on brand synergy, as per the guidelines. I'll add an extra bit of detail in this bit after I've seen the film so no one could possibly accuse us of writing the review in advance.

I will probably plagiarise the picture caption from another, more popular website

Will probably just fill out the rest of the review with some standard plot recaps, tbh. Surprising how easy you can churn one of these suckers out when you have completely sold out and have no respect in your craft or your audience! LOL those idiots have no idea! They are such idiots. I care so little about ethics in movie journalism. I wipe my ass on them! My readers honestly still think I thought Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen was a four-star film! Kerching, thank you Paramount!

Final paragraph: re-iterate that Captain America: Civil War is "the best Marvel movie ever" and throw in an extra DC diss if possible. Guys, please send me your Paypal account details so I can forward you on your share of the Marvel payment. Remember, no one can know we are part of the international ring of corrupt movie journalists that are completely in the studios' pockets. And also that we know the real truth about 9/11.

Rating = 5 stars.

Oh, and Luke, the new admin system design is great but the 'Preview article' button and the 'Publish article' button are a bit too close together, this could potentially be a little confus

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