Hardy Har-Har

Ranking all the Eddie Brock/Venom transformations so far

Matt Looker

3rd August 2018

Those new Venom trailers are something, eh? Lots of shots of Tom Hardy twitching, some nonsense science scenes and one truly excellent set-piece in which Hardy comes off his bike a bit and then uses his incredible alien powers to get back on his bike a bit. Still, at least we have some shots of the titular ET himself to gawk at and argue over.

So move over, Topher Grace, and take that plastic black jizz off your face. We’re in proper awesome CGI territory here. But how awesome? Let’s find out in this definitive ranking of all the times in the trailers that Tom Hardy acts a bit funny and gets covered in FX.
6. Goth with a slipped contact lens

The classic ‘you have an alien symbiote inside you and it’s messing with your eyes’ effect. Alien infections always like to attack the pupils first, eh? This was probably effective once, some time before Prometheus maybe, but now it might as well be one of Venom’s eyelashes in the way.
5. There's a glitch in the Matrix!

This is just confusing. I understand having a living, tangible alien take over your body, but how is this happening? Has Eddie Brock turned into a projection? Like when they brought Tupac back to life so that he could perform at Coachella one last time?
4. Ian Holm in that scary scene from Lord Of The Rings

Those damn eyes again, but this time the alien creature is making them SEXY. Just look at all that smokey eye shadow. Venom, I don’t know if I should be scared of you or trying to have a three-way with you.
3. Existential seizure

The hologram is on the blink again. Give him a slap would you?
2. Unzipped gimp mask

Ooooh yeah, Tom Hardy is inside Venom. Except, he’s not, is he? The shading is just off enough to make you completely aware that Tom Hardy is actually in a studio with dots over his face, a thousand miles away from Venom, who is being coloured in pixel by pixel by the work experience kid while everyone else takes an extended lunch break to celebrate Jeff’s four years with the company.
1. Sentient hoodie

That’s better. Although pretty showboaty. Everything smoothly layers over Hardy’s face like an evil ganache, and then some eerie eyes turn up, followed by sharp teeth and tongue! There it is, just poking out at the last moment. Coo-ee!
Good, glad that’s settled. Incidentally, do you think anyone in this film will say “I wonder why Venom looks like a big evil Spider-Man?”

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