Sneak peek at next year's 2016 MTV Movie Awards categories

People think the Oscars marks the end of awards season in Hollywood, but people are stupid and ugly and wrong and old, because the MTV Movie Awards happened over the weekend and it sure looked like they were giving out awards to me. With Selma actor David Oyelowo suffering more heartbreak with defeat at the hands of The Maze Runner's Dylan O'Brien and Jennifer Lopez triumphing in the 'Best Scared As Shit Performance' category, it was an evening of high tension and very serious drama. Join us as we expose a leaked document that reveals the categories already selected for next year's 2016 Movie Awards, hosted by, I don't know, Drake or something.

Formerly known as Best Fight Scene.


Formerly known as Lamest Nerd.


I promise this will make sense in 2016. Probably.


Note to presenters: keep saying the word 'hashtag' at all costs. If Twitter is not a thing in 2016, make sure the MTV Movie Awards are jibing on Jiber or splunking on Splooger (assuming these are social networks that exist).


Rihanna has already agreed to tattoo our hashtag across her tits.


Just get the fucking camera on her, poke her, make her into a gif, trip her the fuck up, ask her an offensive question, goad her, GOAD HER, MAKE HER NEWS, NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT JENNIFER LAWRENCE.


Zac's fee per ab is rising from June 2015, with a package deal on all six.


Splooger, probably, again assuming that someone will have invented a social network with that name by this time next year.


This is your chance for revenge on Dylan O'Brien, David Oyelewo!


This person doesn't exist yet.


This person does.


WHAT IS HAPPENING


SEND HELP I JUST TURNED 30 AND I'M DISSOLVING