Feature

The eight best things Jason Biggs said at an Orange is the New Black Q&A

Ed Williamson

3rd June 2014

Last week I went to a screening of Orange is the New Black season two's first episode. It was predictably great, as I'll outline in a review soon once I've deciphered the notes I made on a torn-up bit of an Ibuprofen packet having forgotten to bring a notepad. #journalism But the real joy of it was the Q&A featuring Jason Biggs.

For Jason Biggs, I have discovered, is the greatest of all the humans. Along with Taylor Schilling, Laura Prepon and Danielle Brooks, he answered 20 minutes' worth of questions afterwards (which didn't include the pretentious one about feminism I had ready to go until I realised how out of place it would be amongst the series of variations on "How much are you like your character?") and was brilliantly deadpan throughout.
On Larry's role in season two

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I can't give too much away, but I guess after Larry dies in the third episode ...
On director Michael Trim

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PREPON: For the pilot episode, our director, Michael Trim, was amazing.

BROOKS: Amazing.

PREPON: He's the best.

BIGGS: Meh ...


On masturbacting

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We were talking earlier about how I masturbate in everything I'm in, and how I'm a great on-screen masturbator. And off-screen. Really I'm the only one who can judge that, but I am excellent at it. We call it masturbacting.
On Netflix

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I like when Netflix does that little countdown: "Your next episode will start in ten seconds." I'm like, Oh, shit! What can I do in ten seconds? I mean, I could press pause, but I'm like, I've got to piss in ten seconds!
He even has eyes that shoot lasers.


On the awkward silence as the microphone is passed to the next questioner

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Watching people pass microphones to each other. Always my favourite part of any evening.
On research for the part

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I framed my wife. She's currently serving 15 months for embezzlement. And I draw a lot from that. I think she's going to want a divorce afterwards, but for now she's my wife, she's in there, I'm going to stand by her. As far as I know she ain't getting any in there, I'm not quite sure.


On his American Pie castmates' reaction to the show

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I've spoken to some of my American Pie castmates and I haven't heard bad things from anybody. Literally everyone likes the show. They're really jealous of me, and that's what it's all about: making other actors around you feel jealous. It's a very competitive industry.
On working with Jodie Foster

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I masturbated in front of her. I masturbacted. And masturbated.
Arguably, the laudable intentions of my planned question about feminism are coloured by my having focused here on the only male cast member present at a Q&A to promote a female-led show. It was a really good question, I promise, and barely included anything about their underwear. I can only apologise. Season two hits Netflix on Friday.

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