Top 20 Movie Insults


22nd June 2007

Hollywood is a vicious place: if you don't have a pointed tongue and a wit to match that of Oscar Wilde, you might as well have 'DUNCE' tattooed on your forehead. Selecting the very best movie insults was an arduous task as there's simply so many to consider. What makes a great movie insult? Swearing will bump you up a few notches but only if used correctly - profanity should be used sparingly and imaginatively. Personal jibes always go down well, particularly about one's weight or mother. But what makes a really winning movie insult is whether it can be used by the everyman. Feel free to roll out any of the following twenty withering put-downs in everyday situations and wait for the kudos to roll in.

20. DODGEBALL (2004)
The insulter: Patches O'Houlihan (Rip Torn)
The situation: The eccentric Dodgeball coach gives his team a halftime pep talk and doesn't sugar-coat his instructions. Average Joe's will be average no longer.
The insult: "Will someone please catch a goddamn ball? It's like watching a bunch of retards trying to fuck a doorknob out there!"
Why it rules:
Paints quite a picture, doesn't it?

The insulter: Sidney Deane (Wesley Snipes)
The situation: Trash-talking on the basketball court, a number of 'yo momma' jokes are thrown around but this one really sticks.
The insult: "I seen your mother kicking a can down the street. I said 'What you doin'?' and she said 'Moving'"
Why it rules:
Nothing cuts to the bone like a 'yo momma' joke.

18. THE WAY OF THE GUN (2000)
The insulter: Mr. Parker (Ryan Philippe)
The situation: The reserved-yet-deadly criminal for hire gets involved in a slanging match outside a club with a bar patron and his bitch girlfriend.
The insult: "Shut that cunt's mouth or I'll come over there and fuckstart her head!"
Why it rules:
The c-word always wins an argument (especially when directed at a girl).

The insulter: Ulysses Everett McGill (George Clooney)
The situation: Escaped convict Ulysses can no longer hide his contempt for his two dim-witted partners.
The insult: "You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers."
Why it rules:
Is there any instrument duller than the hammer? Exactly.

The insulter: Jay (Jason Mewes)
The situation: Upon discovering an internet post flaming his new movie, the stoner decides to retort in his own inimitable style.
The insult: "All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little whiny bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who are making that movie, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then all you motherfuckers are next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob."
Why it rules:
You know you've read stuff like that on the internet before.

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