Top 20 Ridiculous Action Movie Moments


27th June 2007

Ridiculous action scenes 20-16! <<<

The lowdown: Ethan Hunt and his IMF buddies return, this time after ruthless arms dealer Owen Davian and a mysterious macguffin called the Rabbit's Foot. Their adventures take them all around the world, including a thumping finale in Shanghai.
Why so stupid? Although the series plays fast and loose with ludicrous action scenes, this really takes the cake. The Cruiser base jumps off a skyscraper with a harness round his waist, falls several hundred feet before swinging across a vast gap to land on top of an adjacent building, capping bad guys as he slides down the slanted roof on his back. No sweat. To be fair, maybe the plaza wasn't that high, it was just that Tom is a midget.
In reality... Tom is ripped in two by the harness and Philip Seymour Hoffman has a party. Ving Rhames cries.
Wins the award for: Best Encouragement For Stupid Children To Jump Off High Buildings.

The lowdown: The world is ravaged by freak weather, which sees cities razed by storms, buildings ripped apart by hurricanes and New York submerged under several hundred feet of snow. A small group of survivors are holed up in the New York Public Library.
Why so stupid? All the guff about oncoming climate change might spook you into thinking it could all really happen, but the scene in which Jake Gyllenhaal and his friends are chased down a corridor by 'super-cooled air' is flat-out retarded. "We'll be safe in this room, frost can't open doors! Can it?" We can forgive a huge NY snowdrift. We can forgive CG wolves. But being chased by a killer frost? Get the fuck out of here. What next? The polar ice caps melting? In your dreams, loser!
In reality... Al Gore lands in his eco-helicopter and blasts the frost with his organic hairdryer. Crisis averted!
Wins the award for: Best Use Of Scary Weather Since Twister.

The lowdown: Neo, Morpheus and the gang are still freeing humans from the Matrix one by one, while sneering computer virus Agent Smith has figured out how to replicate. Hell bent on getting revenge, the Smiths corner Neo in a courtyard and bring the smack down.
Why so stupid? For thinking that we wouldn't notice the 'seamless' CGI inserts. When Neo is faced with just seven of the Smiths, he dips, ducks and dodges punches and kicks in a highly impressive manner. When more Smiths are added into the scene, things just get ridiculous. By the scene's conclusion, we're left with a CG Reeves fighting 100 CG Agent Smiths, smacking them with a pole, jumping on their heads and when he gets bored, simply flying away.
In reality... Hugo Weaving gets paid 100 times his normal salary and Keanu gets his ass kicked.
Wins the award for: Best Fight Scene Involving A Cast Member Of Priscilla Queen Of The Desert.

The lowdown: Sean Archer (John Travolta) is a FBI agent on the trail of master criminal Castor Troy (Nicolas Cage). When Troy is arrested, he brags of a giant bomb in LA, and the only way to find out where is for Archer to assume his identity and go deep undercover.
Why so stupid? Do I need to draw you a fricking diagram? Fine, so modern medical science has proved that face transplants are entirely possible, but it's not like slipping a goddamn Halloween mask on and off. Trav can't wait to get the old facial shears out and literally get under the skin of his enemy, and Cage - once he's woken from his coma - puts on Travolta's doughy face like you or I put on a balaclava. Countless gunfights, speedboat chases and heinous overacting ensues, but there's no room for anything sensible. Still, it rules.
In reality... Travolta realises the transplant might have been a bad idea when he realises he looks like a man peering into the back of a spoon. Cage isn't too thrilled either.
Wins the award for: Most Explosive Prediction Of A Medical Breakthrough.

The lowdown: James Bond's 20th adventure, in which he's up against Korean terrorists and Halle Berry's cans. Luckily he's been given a fresh cache of funky gadgets and gizmos, all of which are available to BUY NOW.
Why so stupid? Bond's cars are usually the very definition of cool - swish motors that have all sorts of cool upgrades, bonnet-mounted cannons or hilarious ejector seats. The Aston Martin Vanquish in Die Another Day is beyond ridiculous. It features 'adaptive camouflage', or in other words, 'invisibility'. Or, in other, more accurate words, 'Bullshit.' We're quite willing to believe there's a network of super-cool agents travelling the world, killing bad guys and bedding supermodels, but an invisible car? Come on 007, you can do better than that.
In reality... The adaptive camouflage turns out to be an army tarp draped over the roof. Bond is spotted immediately, tortured and finally run over with his 'invisible car'.
Wins the award for: Most Childish Idea Ever Featured In A Bond Movie.

Ridiculous action scenes 10-6! >>>

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