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Top 20 Worst Casting Decisions Ever

Movie Feature

Ali

6th June 2008

10. EDWARD G ROBINSON is... HEBREW!
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS (1956)
Edward G Robinson as Dathan in The Ten Commandments
"CECIL B. DEMILLE RETURN ME to films. Cecil B. DeMille restored my self-respect." So said esteemed character actor Robinson, after the oddball director cast him as villainous Hebrew slave Dathan in his Biblical epic. We suspect if Edward G had the benefit of hindsight, he may not have been quite so kind. Squat and squeaky (his 'Nyah, see?' voice was the inspiration for The Simpsons' Chief Wiggum), he was a perfect fit in gangster movies like Little Caesar. But stick him in Ancient Egypt? Someone in casting needs to go and re-read their Bible. Robinson sticks out like a sore thumb: a short, fat, white guy with a spray-on tan. Nyah, where's your messiah now, see?


9. KEIRA KNIGHTLEY is... A BOUNTY HUNTER!
DOMINO (2005)
Keira Knightley as Domino Harvey in Domino
THE STORY OF DOMINO HARVEY is a fascinating one indeed: daughter of rich types, she dabbled in modelling before deciding on a career in bounty hunting. Tony Scott's ADD-afflicted story of her life played fast and loose with the truth, but it's a stretch too far to ask us to believe that waif-like, period drama-hogging Keira Knightley could hold her own against Los Angeles' sweatiest gangsters. "I am a bounty hunter," she kept telling us. "No you aren't," came our response. She'd probably struggle to even eat a Bounty, let alone hunt one. Heck, we'd be surprised if she could find a gun that wasn't heavier than her.


8. SEAN CONNERY is... A SPANIARD!
HIGHLANDER (1986)
Sean Connery is Juan Sanchez Villa-Loboz Ramirez in Highlander
BLESS SEAN CONNERY: HE'S SADDLED with a Scottish accent so thick and unwieldy, any attempt to disguise it just comes off like a speech impediment. That hasn't stopped him tackling a variety of dialects throughout his career, mind, and his 'Spanish' mentor Juan Sanchez Villa-Loboz Ramirez (that name isn't fooling anyone) might just be the most poorly realised of the lot. And yes, that includes his Russian sub commander from The Hunt For Red October. Highlander is a hotbed of confused nationality; you've got Scot Connery playing a Spaniard, and Frenchman Christopher Lambert playing a Scot. Honestly, it's enough to give a highlander a headache.


7. DENISE RICHARDS is... CLEVER!
THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH (1999)
Denise Richards as Christmas Jones in The World Is Not Enough
LIKE 007 HIMSELF, THE BOND movies don't play by your rules. They exist in a saucy meta-universe, where hot girls have names like Ivana Screwalot and heroes are placed in unnecessarily slow-moving torture devices. Even so, you've got to think that someone was having a laugh when they hired professional pair-o-tits Denise Richards as nuclear physicist Christmas Jones. Richards has since proved herself to be exceptionally dumb in both her personal life (marrying Charlie Sheen) and her professional life (go rent Blonde and Blonder, then commit suicide). It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that this piece of Bond arm-candy leaves a sour taste in the mouth.


6. WILLIAM SHATNER is... A COWBOY AND AN INDIAN!
WHITE COMANCHE (1968)
William Shatner as a red indian in White Comanche
ALL FAIRNESS TO WILLIAM SHATNER; back in 1968, midway through shooting the original Star Trek series, he wasn't to know he'd become synonymous with sci-fi. But watch White Comanche today and you'll discover a rare case of retrospective miscasting - the horror of seeing Shatner playing cowboys and indians by himself took forty years to digest. Shatner plays dual roles: brothers Johnny and Notah Moon, one who saddles with the white devils, the other settling with his comanche brothers. The result is a woefully misguided, farcical Western, culminating in the pop-culture implosion of Shatner getting into a fight with himself, giving him the opportunity to bare both his chests at once.

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