Feature
Top 50 Best Movie Deaths
Movie Feature
Rich
27th January 2009
Movie deaths are an integral part of the filmmaker's arsenal. Can you imagine how dull flicks would be without the occasional fatality, assassination or cheeky moider? They offer a chance for imagination and inventiveness and have given the creators of the Saw series an outlet that has probably stopped them going on a killing spree in real life. But the most important thing to know about movie deaths is that they are so much cooler than your Nan's. Spoilers ahead
50. DEATH ON THE OCEAN WAVE |
SHARK ATTACK 3: MEGALODON (2002) |
Dr. Who's John Barrowman 'stars' in a movie so bad it makes Jaws 3-D look like Jaws. The effects are beyond terrible (a particular highlight includes the use of the same shot for two different deaths), but the beast in question is so large that as a pup he'd have been stealing Bruce's dinner money. Each scene is such a remarkable display of the director's child-like ambition that we can't pick a favourite, hence the following compilation. "I'll be right there!" Oh no you won't, son. |
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49. THE CUT OF THE JIB |
GHOST SHIP (2002) |
Remember when cruise ships were like the Love Boat; all romance and high jinks and a friendly party Doc? No longer. Movies have now taught us that if you're on a liner in the middle of an ocean, you're about as likely to die as a movie franchise when George Lucas takes a second swing at it. Here, the victims perish without a sound, until the silence is broken by a single piercing scream. Silly? Maybe. Awesome? Definitely. |
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48. DIE LIKE YOU MEAN IT |
ENTER THE NINJA (1981) |
Another one for the 'So bad it's totally amazing' pile, you really have to wonder if the director just didn't have another take of this scene to put in the movie. Maybe there was no money left in the budget for a re-shoot, or possibly the actor was actually killed by the ninja on the first take. Of course that would mean that it may actually be the best movie death ever, as the shrug is actually a totally genuine, method approach to facing the great unknown with a throwing star in your chest. |
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47. GORILLA KILLER |
KING KONG (1933) |
"Well, Denholm, the airplanes got 'im." "Oh, no. It wasn't the airplanes; it was beauty killed the beast." "Well, that and the 1,453 foot drop. And hitting his head three times on the way down. And the bullets, don't forget the bullets. Then there was the sudden stop on the sidewalk. And from the look of the stubbing in his fingers, he would have been dead of heart disease in a matter of days. And the tests show he has lupus. But yes, you're right. It was all the beauty." |
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46. RIHANNA NOT FEATURED |
SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT PART 2 (1987) |
"No, Mr. Scary Eyes! Not the umbrella-ella-ella, ow! Ow! Ow! Don't open that umbrella-ella-ella, ow! Ow! Ow!" Heaven only knows what the mean looking chef would've tried to use to impale the guy had he not put his hand on the portable weather repeller. An asparagus spear, perhaps? A particularly firm cucumber? Anyway, the final indignity for the poor victim is when the umbrella is opened, making him look like a terminal Inspector Gadget. Go-go gadget DEATH. |
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45. CRASH AND BURN (AND EXPLODE) |
FINAL DESTINATION 2 (2002) |
You really could pick any of the deaths from this splatter series for this list, as this is a franchise that delights in chance and the use of Rube Goldberg-esque contraptions as destiny tries to re-establish its icy grip on beautiful young Americans. This one stands out for the sheer scale of the vehicular violence, which convinced us to become a pedestrian. |
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44. DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD |
THE OMEN (1976) |
Sheets of glass in movies are normally being carried across a road before being shattered by a comedian on an out-of-control bicycle. The Omen uses one in a much more interesting way. Perched on top of a flatbed truck, it's sent flying off to separate David Warner's head from his body like a double glazed guillotine. The severed bonce, enjoying unprecedented freedom, then does a Tony Hawk (as in it spins through 1,080 degrees - it doesn't bugger off round Ireland with a fridge. You're thinking of Terry Gilliam's The Omen). |
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43. AN INFLATED OPINION |
LIVE AND LET DIE (1973) |
He may be nobody's favourite Bond, but Roger Moore certainly did know how to make a bad guy with a PhD inflate until he explodes, then have post-doctricide nookie with Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman. What are the odds that we see Daniel Craig do something similar during his stint as Bond? It certainly would've enlivened Quantum of Solace. Even in a film franchise where the bad guys can't seem to go five minutes without suffering a bizarre and exotic death, this one stands out. |
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42. BABY PANCAKES |
FEAST 2: SLOPPY SECONDS (2008) |
We can tell you this right now - you are not prepared for the contents of this clip. Seriously. At the end of its running time, a rooftop full of people stand slack-jawed at what they've just seen. You will be joining them. It's a prime example of the scuba diver's mantra: when you see a shark, you don't need to be faster than the shark, just faster than your buddy. |
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41. BACON SKEWERED |
FRIDAY THE 13TH (1980) |
Look kids; it's Kevin Bacon! A Kevin Bacon who is about to suffer six degrees of separation from the requirement to metabolise oxygen. This is a particularly hard death to watch for anyone who, as a child, was afraid of monsters being under their bed. If you were such a kid, you should treat young Kevin as a cautionary tale. The monsters are underneath your bed. They're underneath your bed right now. And they're just waiting for you. |
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