Your guide to awful Kevin Bacon puns for The Following's season finale

Ali Gray

30th April 2013

The Following season finale is tonight, and I think I speak for everyone who has sat through all fourteen episodes thus far when I say that it's been awful. There has been one saving grace, however: making jokes about Kevin Bacon's name that are contextual to the action.

The Following has been a dead loss since... when did it start? Every episode follows the same formula: James Purefoy's cult leader does something charmingly creepy; Kevin Bacon acts on a hunch; the police do something unfathomably stupid; and someone gets shot just as they point a gun at someone else. Every. Single. Episode.

Thankfully, I am just about childish enough to find other ways to entertain myself. I recommend you try the following: every time Kevin Bacon's character enters a situation, attempt to think up a pun relating to the actor's meat-based surname. You might surprise yourself with how many you can come up with over the course of just one godforsaken episode.

Here are some scenarios and puns we made up earlier. Play along tonight!
Kevin Bacon acts really well

Kevin Bacon is near a fire

Kevin Bacon is topless

Kevin Bacon does something headstrong/foolish

Kevin Bacon is in trouble

Kevin Bacon looks tired

Kevin Bacon is in a sex scene

Kevin Bacon threatens a woman with a knife

Brilliantly, this game also worked perfectly with The Walking Dead and Andrew Lincoln aka Egg. "You're looking scrambled today, Egg!"

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