All of these new Lincoln stills look like someone has just farted


25th September 2012

This new batch of images for Steven Spielberg's upcoming biopic Lincoln gives us the chance to be incredibly puerile. We jump at that chance. With gusto.

Click any of the images to view larger

Well somebody looks mightily pleased with their bum gut efforts. And so Abe should - that's a truly presidential guff exclusion zone.

Two words: followed through.

A whodunnit! Abe thinks he's got Captain Hairbeard sussed and is giving him the ol' stink eye, but my money is on the guy sitting up straight on the far right. The trick is to not try too hard to disguise your guilt.

It's a well known historical true fact that Abraham Lincoln would stand with his arms folded behind his back for hours, basking in the haze of his own putrid gas.

Even the women are getting in on the act. Although here it looks like Mary Todd is on the receiving end of one of Abe's Stinkin' Lincoln Specials.

Slightly flared nostrils. Nobody else about. You sicken me, JGL.

Abe again. What is up with this guy's digestive system? He's the President of Chuffing His Pants. That poor Union soldier caught downwind looks like he's about to fall off his horse. It even made his hat crooked.
A new low for us, perhaps, but a new high for The Joey Tribbiani School of Acting.

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