Battlefield Earth writer blames "suckiest movie ever" on his dong

John Travolta thought it was going to be "the Schindler's List of sci-fi". That's offensive in more ways than there are numbers.

Sandra Bullock's Razzie win for All About Steve overshadowed what should have been a momentous occasion earlier this month, when Battlefield Earth was named the worst movie of the decade by members of the Golden Raspberries. If you've never seen it before, here's a highlights reel. Note that it's only just over a minute long.

Anyhoo, Battlefield Earth's screenwriter JD Shapiro has written a letter in the New York Post basically apologising for his part in the "suckiest movie ever". There's also an interesting story that comes with it, choice quotes from which you'll see below. It's worth reading the whole thing.

Shapiro claimed he visited the Scientology Celebrity Centre in LA to try and get laid. After schmoozing various level Thetans, he was introduced to some Scientologists with real pull.

After hitching a ride on the Scientology cruise ship (it's called Freewind FYI, just in case you're hit by an iceberg and a boat full of wide-eyed nutjobs tries to rescue you), Shapiro agreed to adapt L Ron Hubbard's book for the screen.

And we always thought Travolta had such a keen eye for successul projects. Thank God he doesn't make terrible movies any more. Shapiro goes on to make his excuses.

Apparently, Shapiro's first draft came back with studio notes on it that he assumed were a joke; turns out they were from John Travolta's 'people' who wanted to completely shift the tone of the film and call the bad aliens 'Psychlos'. The writer quit, but left his name on the project so he could still get paid. The result is history. Shitty history.

Of course, all of this was eight years before The Happening was released, which is in my eyes at least, easily the equal of Battlefield Earth when it comes to U-bend clogging movie turds. I guess shitty movies need a figurehead, and Marky Mark isn't quite up to John Travolta's advanced Thetan level just yet. Get back on that e-meter, Wahlberg.