Bryan Singer wanted Taylor Lautner. For X-Men, I mean

Count yourself lucky Bryan Singer was too busy to direct X-Men prequel First Class: he wanted to hire Taylor Lautner. Was there a young mutant called Pignose Manchild I wasn't aware of?

Though I can't claim to be sporting a nerd boner over X-Men: First Class, I must say I'm intrigued by the direction it's going. Casting has certainly been interesting, with Aaron Johnson rumoured, James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender on board, Alice Eve's breasts in the mix and - awesomely - Kevin Bacon as the film's villain. And that might be the first sentence I ever wrote featuring the words 'bender', 'breasts' and 'bacon'.

Anyhoo, Kick-Ass director Matthew Vaughn is the guy tasked with ensuring the First Class behave themselves - an excellent choice, if one may say so. Before Vaughn came on board, however, Bryan Singer was down to direct, signalling his return to the X-Men franchise he left to Brett Ratner. Cheers, Bry. Really, we never got a chance to thank you.

Singer still has a connection to the Marvel universe, possibly because he keeps hanging around the studio car park in a sandwich board, possibly just because he's the producer and the only guy to get anything good out of the X-Men thus far. But count your lucky stars Singer didn't get to direct First Class after all: he planned on hiring shirtless werewolf Taylor Lautner for a prominent role.

Boy, that Bryan Singer sure does have some far out friends! But I guess it makes sense for an openly gay, powerful, 44 year-old producer to be best chums with a buff, 18 year-old, impressionable actor. They probably just talk about Pok�mon or Ben 10 or something.

Taylor Lautner isn't the worst actor I've ever seen, but that's only because I stopped looking after I saw New Moon. X-Men movies have got less and less sacred since X3, but the moment you get Twilight all up in our franchise is the moment I throw a hissy fit and write on my blog. (This isn't a hissy fit. This is a strop. Hissy fits feature angry emoticons).