Indiana Jones 5 And The Continued Rape Of Childhood Dreams


9th June 2010

Unsubstantiated rumour ahoy! There's news from a distant land that the plot for the forthcoming Indiana Jones 5 will involve oh God who even cares any more it's all so depressing.

I'm one of those guys you spit on who thinks that Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull wasn't actually all that bad. However, that free pass I gave Spielberg was a one-time-only deal, and now he's queueing up Indiana Jones 5 and trying to use it again, only with his thumb over the date. Bloody Spielberg.

The rumour, which originated from some site called Music Rooms, which I won't even bother to verify (*picks teeth*), goes as follows: the plot macguffin in Indy 5 will supposedly be the Bermuda Triangle, and whatever dwells within.

As interesting as a Bermuda-bound Indy movie may sound (think of the shorts!), it's all highly dubious. True, George Lucas and Steven Spielberg have been working on the script for a while now, and they are fond of scripting ripping yarns based, however loosely, on real phenomenons. The Bermuda Triangle is just recognisable and just ludicrous enough to work, particularly when you now consider Indy lives in a world where aliens exist. Chuck Atlantis in there and you've got yourself a pretty sound prospect.

However, here's the giveaway 'quote' from the 'source':

"... This will be a blockbuster made in the old fashioned way rather than the CGI efforts of the last movie."
Ahahaha, fuck off. George Lucas is planning on removing CG from one of his movies? Of course he is: the man's such a traditionalist, and he's got a long and colourful history of learning his lesson. I'm not sure if you can tell, but I'm being sarcastic. Pfft. The only things old-fashioned about George Lucas are his plaid shirts and love of sodomy.

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