Star Wars 3D re-release in 2012


29th September 2010

Well that's the Olympics ruined.

Even though your childhood is all grown up now, and moving on from the unspeakable events in its past, George Lucas is still watching. Just when your childhood least suspects it, Lucas pounces and gives it a dirty fumble. As George streaks off, his neckbeard wet with your childhood's tears, your childhood sits, sobbing. Raped again. Maybe it's giving off the wrong signals?

So yeah, the Star Wars series is getting a 3D re-release in 2012. That should come as no big surprise if you've seen Lucas drooling over Avatar's box-office take, but now it's official. All six movies will be given a 3D post-conversion and will be released one a year, starting with The Phantom Menace, from early 2012. So basically, you'll have to wait until 2015 for the good ones.

Does anyone have the energy to go through all of this one more time? I feel like Star Wars' abused wife; it hurts me all the time but I still keep going back for more. Boy, I'm hitting the abuse metaphors hard today.

I'm not suggesting that Star Wars won't be fun in 3D - heck, it could be a hoot. I'm sure there's at least one 'At least one element of the film won't be two-dimensional' gag to be made somewhere. But you just know grabby George can't resist the urge to 'tweak' when he's busy 'remastering'. A bantha here, a force ghost there. Before you know it, Liam Neeson's beard is being motion-captured by Jay Baruchel.

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