Today I learned: Mila Kunis was in Hulk Hogan's Santa With Muscles


20th January 2011

Mila Kunis: she's hot, she's talented and she has a filthy laugh. But she also has a dirty little secret. It's called Santa With Muscles and it stars Hulk Hogan.

On Friday, Black Swan hits UK cinemas. Star Natalie Portman is expected to be at least nominated for an Oscar, but co-star Mila Kunis has also been getting awards buzz. She's truly at the peak of her career and on the cusp of super-stardom - what better time to root through her closet for skeletons and give them a good old kicking?

Behold, Hulk Hogan action comedy Santa With Muscles from 1996. To be fair, little Mila was only 13 when it was released (in... cinemas? That doesn't seem right) so was hardly in a position to say, 'Excuse me, but I really don't think this role will be beneficial to my career once I'm rich and famous'. She wasn't to know how hurtful the words 'Hulk Hogan action comedy' would turn out to be. Men have been killed for uttering less. You can see Mila from around 1:15 onwards.

Truly though, this trailer is a bona fide work of genius. You just don't get the same level of voiceover excitement any more. The guy genuinely seems like he's enjoying his job ("A hero... in a silly hat! Derp!"). You'll also notice a high calibre of Christmas puns ("You sleigh me!"), despite the lack of anything else Christmassy. It's also got the best IMDB synopsis ever:

So, as you're watching Mila Kunis twirl her way to a glittering career this weekend, spare a thought for the other poor kids in Santa With Muscles who didn't make it - the ones who effectively died by the hand of Hogan.

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