What happened at Comic-Con stays at ... no, wait, we'll tell you

Ed Williamson

26th July 2011

We didn't actually go, obviously. My Chewbacca costume was in the wash.

Geek Valhalla Comic-Con 2011 just went down in San Diego. It used to be a Mecca for lonely men who would probably be paying prostitutes to dress them up as babies if they didn't have this one annual outlet, but then a bunch of fucking studio and network SUITS (*spits on floor*) realised its commercial potential and started using it to announce lots of quite exciting new stuff, like the FASCISTS they are. And, frankly, made it interesting and relevant, the profiteering SCUM.

Here's some stuff that happened there.
In entirely hypothetical news, Jennifer Morrison would return to House. If they asked. Has anyone asked? Well, that's scarcely the point, is it?

Among one of about a gajillion trailers, teasers and tweezers unveiled was this first-look clip of Supernatural season seven. Which is about ... I want to say ghosts? Oh wait, no, it's demons. You could always read our summary of the first six seasons if you want to know what the frig it's all about. And why wouldn't you, after a sales pitch like that?

You know every TV show ever? And how they've all got vampires and werewolves and stuff in them? Except Holby City, which doesn't all that much? Take that, substitute whatever the creature is for witches, throw in some Heathers-esque teen bitchiness and transparent allegorical messages about how it's OK if you don't fit in because everyone's, like, an individual, and we should celebrate that, yeah? You've just come up with The Secret Circle. Well, you haven't; you've just read a really over-long sentence which ended with the words The Secret Circle, but it's all the same to you really.

"Forget everything you know about Mystic Falls," says this Vampire Diaries season three promo. Can do!

Right, now here's some proper stuff. We brought you pictures, teaser clips and interviews, but now here's an ACTUAL bloody trailer for The ACTUAL Walking ACTUAL Dead season two.

New Sarah Michelle Gellar thinger, Ringer, has perhaps the best plot synopsis I've ever heard. (*takes deep breath*) She's trying to get over a drug addiction, then she ends up witnessing a murder so has to run away, and decides to adopt the identity of her twin sister, but then it turns out her sister's got her own problems which Sarah's just taken on, and ... fuck it, just make the rest up as you go.

Speaking on the panel for the re-re-re-re-rebooted Charlie's Angels, one of its stars, Rachael Taylor, had this to say.

I think every reincarnation of Charlie's Angels has been appropriate for its time. I think the original series had incredibly strong and interesting female characters for that time, and the movie spoke to its time, and this time, we're back in people�s living rooms so we want to do something that�s different again. But I certainly don�t think our series allows the sex appeal to get ahead � in fact, quite the opposite. We haven�t had any swimsuit moments or anything like that yet. Certainly there's�

No swimsuits? The fuck d'you think this is, The Female Eunuch? NEXT!
Last, we'll metaphorically sidle over to the Dexter panel and have a look at the season six trailer they've got to offer. No, I don't know what Dexter's got to do with comics either. It was based on an actual book originally, you know. Without pictures or a touchscreen interface or anything! Like that'll ever catch on. Hope no one found out or they'd have been chased out of the place by Stormtroopers.

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