Will Smith Jr joins new M Night ShyamaLOL sci-fi movie


21st October 2010

It's called The Littlest Arsebender. Not really. That was childish.

I never got around to seeing The Last Airbender but knew I was missing out on a spectacular armpit fart of a movie when I heard of the line, "Ever since you were a little girl, I always knew you were a bender." That's the M Night Shyamalan stamp of quality: guaranteed embarrassed laughter and pitying shakes of the head.

Incredibly, Airbender bent to the tune of $300 million at the box-office, meaning in some quarters at least, Shyamalan is still thought to be a cinematic alchemist, turning lumps of shit into healthy nuggets of profit. Naturally this means people are still chucking work his way, so we can now strap ourselves in and wait for the next ShyamaLOL: a sci-fi epic called One Thousand A.E.

Nothing is known about the story at the moment, although Shyamalan will be directing a film he didn't write the script for, which is obviously a blessing for people who like films but a curse for those who love his tragically misguided auteurds. It'll be written by Gary Whitta, the fella responsible for The Book Of Eli, a post-apocalyptic thriller, that was by all accounts, alright, actually.

Sadly, Mr Whitta has suffered a significant talent downgrade between pictures: he's gone from writing for muscular titan Denzel Washington to pint-sized douche-in-training, Jaden 'son of Will' Smith. 1000 A.E. (I feel comfortable enough to refer to it as such) is apparently being developed as "a Jaden Smith vehicle", which makes me laugh because I picture it as a shiny little red toy car with a big honky horn. Beep beep! Here comes the Privilege Mobile!

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