Dane Dehaan

Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets

Movie Review | Matt Looker | 27th July 2017

Anyone who has read this site's review of Jupiter Ascending or pretty much any of the Transformer films will know that we tend to be more lenient than most when it comes to over-ambitious sci-fi epics. We forgive atrocious dialogue and overlong running times in order to reward dumb fun alien shit. So, frankly, Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets is lucky to have us, because this is a movie in which legendary filmmaker Luc Besson doesn't bother looking at the script twice nor his watch once while he continuously plays with an endless line-up of CGI distractions. This is him procrastinating with his own imagination in the same way that you or I would dick about on Twitter rather than get on with any real work. This is Luc Besson's Faff Element.

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A Cure For Wellness

Movie Review | Ali Gray | 21st February 2017

A while back, I used the pun 'Shitter Island' to describe John Carpenter's horror comeback The Ward during a Halloween liveblog. As with all my puns, I reserve the right to reuse them whenever I want, so I'm recycling this one in honour of Gore Verbinski's A Cure For Wellness, another cliched asylum-based horror thriller. More like Shitter Island, right guys? Haha, good one Ali.

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The Amazing Spider-Man's Green Goblin looks familiar

Movie News | Ali Gray | 27th March 2014

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The Place Beyond The Pines

Movie Review | Neil | 8th April 2013

One of the conditions of me joining The Shiznit after closing down my own unbelievably popular and hilarious film blog was that I would become the site's Gosling Correspondent: any and all Ryan Goslingness would have to pass through me before it made it onto the internet. The rest of the team made a bit of a fuss, but when I took my shirt off to reveal my full chest tattoo of Ryan's face, they soon agreed to all my demands. Turns out I didn't need to take my trousers and pants off as well, but still, in for a penny, in for a pound.

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