Luke Evans

News, Reviews & Features

Review: Murder Mystery commits the crime of not being very mysterious

Movie Review | Luke Whiston | 25th June 2019

Shhh the kids are asleep. It's mummy and daddy time now, a chance to do all the things you can't do during the day. Let's make a cup of tea and put on a film. Two hours gone and now it's bedtime. The film was fine. Not good, not bad. Just fine, but more importantly we survived today. Lamp off. Start again tomorrow. One day closer to death. Everything is just fine, and it's not for me to judge that your life has become a static series of achievement-void days spent clockwatching and sometimes not even seeing the sun.

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The Girl On The Train

Movie Review | Ed Williamson | 7th October 2016

Here's Emily Blunt on the Girl on the Train poster, looking suspiciously like she has more make-up on than she does in the actual film (again). She's very much the best thing about it, but still: if there's one genre for which I have a soft spot, it's the serviceable but unexceptional thriller.

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Dracula 'Untold', eh?

Movie News | Ali Gray | 16th June 2014

Seems unlikely.

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The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug

Movie Review | Neil Alcock | 11th December 2013

First things first: there are no songs, no washing up scenes and no fucking eagles in The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug, which immediately makes it a better film than its predecessor. The eyeball-molesting increased frame rate of An Unexpected Journey has also been, if not dropped, then less loudly trumpeted for this film, which is another blessed relief. You'd almost be fooled into thinking that Peter Jackson has been listening to his critics, were it not for the fact that Desolation is still an obscenely long, slightly dull, inferior version of a Lord Of The Rings film.

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No One Lives

Movie Review | Ed Williamson | 3rd September 2013

WWE setting up a film studio is a fairly natural progression. It's been a conveyor belt to throw stars like Stone Cold Steve Austin and John Cena into cash-in action films, and now here it is with splatterfest No One Lives, featuring a minor role for wrestler George Murdoch. Fine by me, but remember when the wrestlers would do those promos to camera where they shouted angrily about the bodily harm they were about to do their opponent? Well, imagine a film in which everyone spoke like that throughout, then at some point came face-to-face with their own small intestine. Yep, you're there.

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Fast & Furious 6

Movie Review | Ali | 13th May 2013

If you've never seen a Fast & Furious movie, Vin Diesel and Paul Walker play two alpha males who wish they could have energetic bum sex with one another, but have to settle for driving around big shiny penis extensions instead. Over five homoerotic odysseys, they've recruited various friends from around the world into their gang, all of whom perform one specific function, whether it be 'tech', 'comic relief' or 'looking hot'. In Fast & Furious 6, they team up with chief Fast Five antagonist Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson to hunt down Luke 'The Crow' Evans, an evil man who needs a computer chip to do evil things and who doesn't care how many cars he has to flip over to get it. There, you're up to speed â€“ and that speed just happens to be TWO HUNDRED MILES PER HOUR.

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Casting director for The Crow remake stretches definition of 'first choice'

Movie Feature | Ali | 5th May 2013

Congratulations ~~Bradley~~ ~~Channing~~ ~~Mark~~ ~~Tom~~ ~~Alexander~~ Luke! We couldn't imagine making this movie without you! (Full story at Deadline).

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The Raven

Movie Review | Ali | 10th March 2012

The Raven is a fairly neat concept in theory. A down and out Edgar Allen Poe (John Cusack) is hired by old-timey police to solve a series of grisly killings based on his own macabre stories. There's a little bit of Saw, a touch of Basic Instinct and even a smidgen of Sherlock Holmes in the screenplay; it's equal parts gothic horror, murder mystery and action adventure, just a few doors down From Hell. It's not a bad idea, but that description probably makes it sound a little more exciting than it actually is â€“ for all its shadowy intrigue and booze-tinged whimsy, The Raven is a story that even Poe would admit needs a few rewrites.

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Immortals

Movie Review | Ali | 10th November 2011

To look at it, you might think Immortals has no idea how ridiculous it is â€“ characters with glistening muscles and mountainous pectorals swing around their hugely phallic swords while wearing gold lamÃ© hotpants, like the most expensive porn parody ever. The problem is, director Tarsem Singh knows exactly how ridiculous it looks, which means not only is it one of the campest movies of the year, but one of the most vain, too. Oddly, though, you can't take your eyes off it â€“ it's like watching the butchest float on the Gay Pride parade crash in super slow-motion HD.

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The Three Musketeers is certainly shaping up to be a film

Movie Trailer | Ali | 29th June 2011

Look at this new trailer; it has human actors in it, special effects of some derivation, it even appears to have a script. Yes, Paul WS Anderson's The Three Musketeers will be a film all right.

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