Michelle Rodriguez

News, Reviews & Features

Review: Fast & Furious 9 is a bloodless blockbuster Scalextric

Movie Review | Ali Gray | 27th June 2021

Is there any point in bothering to review a film like Fast & Furious 9? Its very existence is a middle finger to anyone who genuinely considers themselves to be a 'film critic' - even its title feels like the sort of cute background gag you'd see in Back To The Future II, a sly crack at Hollywood's over-reliance on familiar formula. Let me rephrase my original question: is there any point in me bothering to review a film like Fast & Furious 9? The answer is yes, thank you very much, because I haven't reviewed a film since 2019 and I couldn't imagine booking an easier comeback gig. It's a big stupid target for someone like me to take cheap potshots at and at the same time feel good about myself for ultimately giving it a positive review, as per the will of the people. Everybody wins! Except the criminals.

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Review: Alita: Battle Angel has one foot in the future, one in the past

Movie Review | Ali Gray | 13th February 2019

Does James Cameron's name attached to a movie mean anything anymore? With the skidmark of Terminator Genisys refusing to fade from the collective pop culture underpant, and the inevitable Avatar sequel debacle still a few merciful years away, we have a new Cameron project to mull over in the meantime. Alita: Battle Angel, a live-action sci-fi epic based on a popular Japanese anime, has been on JC's to-do list since the early 2000s but he's finally delegated it off his plate, handing over his dusty old screenplay to best pal Robert Rodriguez. I don't like the phrase 'sloppy seconds', but, well, I've said it now, it's out there, and in actual fact, in saying it I've basically answered the question I set out in the first line, so here we are, the review has begun, strap yourselves in everyone.

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Review: Widows delivers an effective, grief-stricken social drama with thrills

Movie Review | Matt Looker | 16th October 2018

Steve McQueenâ€™s dramatically weighty take on the heist movie genre starts with a blistering opening scene. We see masked robbers fleeing their crime mid-pursuit, but only from inside the back of their getaway van. With a fixed position looking out through the transitâ€™s rear, its broken doors scraping and sparking on the road as police cars and traffic crash and pile-up in the trail of the gangâ€™s escape, we cut to each of the members in moments of domesticity from earlier that day - Liam Neeson passionately kissing Viola Davis in bed, Jon Bernthal prodding at the black eye adorning Elizabeth Debickiâ€™s face, kisses goodbye, arguments in stores - until finally a chaotic shootout leaves the gang and their van exploded in flames. McQueenâ€™s intent is clear: from the physical chaos on the roads to the emotional distress at home, these robbers are leaving a lot of devastation in their wake.

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Fast And Furious cast still unable to tell women from cars

Movie Feature | Matt Looker | 29th June 2017

Fresh concerns have arisen regarding the ability of the Fast And Furious cast to tell the difference between women and cars after franchise regular Michelle Rodriguez called out the need for "female characters with better parts".

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Fast & Furious 7

Movie Review | Ali Gray | 23rd March 2015

For the first time since its inception in 2001, the Fast & Furious franchise was forced to hit the brakes. The unfortunate â€“ but avoidable â€“ death of Paul Walker in an automobile accident in November 2013 meant production on Part 7 skidded to a halt. Now, one year on from its planned release, Furious 7 rides into town after a respectful re-pimping â€“ the muted colours on the poster suggests a star-studded funeral procession, but in actual fact, the latest instalment of The Franchise That Couldn't Slow Down is business as usual: cars, explosions, pecs (men), gussets (women), crap jokes and the most flagrant disrespect for physics since Sir Isaac Newton's naysayers suggested he stick his apple up his arse. You wouldn't call it a fitting tribute to Walker â€“ I'm pretty sure the last thing his family needs to see is 250 cars exploding into fireballs â€“ but you suspect it's what he, the fans and the studio would have wanted. So here we are. Amber turned to green. Let's go.

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Machete Kills

Movie Review | Luke Whiston | 11th October 2013

So where are we at with Mel Gibson? Poor old racist, misogynist, anti-semitic, fly-off-the-handle Mel - have we forgiven him? I only ask because he's far and away the most entertaining thing about Machete Kills, yet I'm not sure if I laughed at his antics for genuine LOL-worthy reasons, or because of some weird residual fascination after that time he called a policewoman "sugar tits" and became one of Hollywood's most reliable loons for a while. Can it be both? For what is essentially a one-note joke, Machete Kills is full of questions.

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Fast & Furious 6

Movie Review | Ali | 13th May 2013

If you've never seen a Fast & Furious movie, Vin Diesel and Paul Walker play two alpha males who wish they could have energetic bum sex with one another, but have to settle for driving around big shiny penis extensions instead. Over five homoerotic odysseys, they've recruited various friends from around the world into their gang, all of whom perform one specific function, whether it be 'tech', 'comic relief' or 'looking hot'. In Fast & Furious 6, they team up with chief Fast Five antagonist Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson to hunt down Luke 'The Crow' Evans, an evil man who needs a computer chip to do evil things and who doesn't care how many cars he has to flip over to get it. There, you're up to speed â€“ and that speed just happens to be TWO HUNDRED MILES PER HOUR.

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iDunno...

Movie Trailer | Luke | 7th January 2013

Just when you'd given up on seeing a film starring Rob Schneider, Lindsay Lohan and Adrien Brody, along comes InAPPropriate Comedy. Directed by the ShamWow! guy, no less! It's literally a comedy for our ages because the word 'app' is capitalised in the title! 2013 is shaping up to be a vintage year for cinema, guys! I have no opinion either way on Michelle Rodriguez.

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7 things I forgot to write about Battle Los Angeles last week

Movie Review | Ali | 17th March 2011

So I saw Battle Los Angeles (now correctly de-colonised, for all you punctuation pedants) last week but the ringing in my ears only just stopped. Guess I'd better do a blog post on it then.

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New Battle: Los Angeles trailer looks Bloody: Brilliant

Movie Trailer | Ali | 12th January 2011

We gather a few things explode.

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