Vanessa Hudgens
News, Reviews & Features-
Review: The Knight Before Christmas in excuse for rambling film article
Movie Review | Luke Whiston | 1st December 2019
Ahh Christmas; the season of feelgood movies, peace and love to all, chestnuts roasting by an open fire, dressing gowns and comfy slippers, aisles of biscuit tins in Wilko, the excitement of the first snowflake, glitter, novelty plastic tat destined for a landfill, forcing yourself to like disgusting M&S sandwiches, family arguing about Brexit, splinters going up in the loft, more glitter, Boris Johnson what a character eh, tears as your wife's antique bauble gets smashed, fighting back consumerist guilt, the bulbs don't work, splinters coming down from the loft, kids screaming, lies upon lies about Santa, THE BULBS DON'T WORK AND SOMEONE NEEDS TO GO TO THE SHOP AND THERE'S GLITTER EVERYWHERE. It's December 1st.
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Review: Polar is a blizzard of clichéd tedium
Movie Review | Luke Whiston | 24th February 2019
Working yourself to the bone during the prime of your life so you can live comfortably when you're too old to do anything seems really backwards. I'll happily stitch clothes with my gnarled hands in return for soup until I expire at my sewing table when I'm seventy, just let me have some fun now. What if I don't even make it to old age because of some horrible illness or a nuclear war? All those hours toiling away for nothing. Awful thoughts. Everything is terrible. Although I guess things can't be that bad if the worst thing that happened to me this week was watching Netflix's Polar, in which a hitman retires. Which is why I said all that stuff just now.
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Spring Breakers
Movie Review | Neil | 24th March 2013
Harmony Korine isn't like other filmmakers, and his films aren't like other films. Anyone who saw Trash Humpers will have noticed that it was difficult to compare to anything else in its genre, because the genre of movies about people wearing grotesque masks and having sex with bins contains precisely one film: Trash Humpers. This is obviously a good thing: cinema needs mavericks like Korine to come along once in a while and kick the medium up the bum. To some extent it doesn't even matter whether or not his films are any good. He's an artist, and his films are statements.
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Journey 2: The Mysterious Island
Movie Review | Rob | 3rd February 2012
Michael Caine has had a long, glittering career spanning five decades. He's been nominated for an Academy Award in every decade since the 1960s. He's even a Knight of The Realm. The man truly is an icon of British cinema. Surely, though, flying a giant bee and high-fiving The Rock has to be his greatest achievement to date.
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The 5 butt-ugliest abominations on the new Journey 2 poster
Movie News | Ali | 13th November 2011
Usually a naff poster would get a disparaging remark in Luke's poster round-up and we'd think no more about it, but this one-sheet for Journey 2: The Mysterious Island is particularly heinous. Anyone not into detailed graphic design nitpicking and groundless whinging look away now.
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Sucker Punch
Movie Review | Ali | 25th March 2011
Warning: this is going to be one of those reviews where I basically spend a thousand words completely picking holes in the film, only to give it three stars anyway - feel free to knock off a star if you're not easily impressed by shiny things (I am shallow and a horrible person). It says a lot about Sucker Punch that it can have such hugely obvious flaws and still remain enjoyable for the most part - if it wasn't executed with such panache it would probably qualify as one of the dumbest movies of 2011.
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