Andrew Steele
News, Reviews & Features-
Review: Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga is low on laughs but makes a bold statement
Movie Review | Luke Whiston | 13th August 2020
I hate the Eurovision Song Contest. I hate the blinding shiny lights and the garish tackiness - it's what I imagine dropping acid in a Claire's Accessories would be like. I hate the awkward jokes and the hosts bumbling their way through, clearly wishing they were anywhere else. I hate the smugly sly politicisation, even if it is often an accurate and honest representation of feeling towards us and our continental neighbours. I hate the forced laughter. I hate the constant smiling. But most of all I hate the songs. Yes, I hate it. I hate the Eurovision Song Contest because I hate myself and can't admit that it is in fact FUCKING BRILLIANT!
Support Us

Follow Us
Recent Highlights
-
Review: Jackass Forever is a healing balm for our bee-stung ballsack world
Movie Review
-
Review: Black Widow adds shades of grey to the most interesting Avenger
Movie Review
-
Review: Fast & Furious 9 is a bloodless blockbuster Scalextric
Movie Review
-
Review: Wonder Woman 1984 is here to remind you about idiot nonsense cinema
Movie Review
-
Review: Borat Subsequent Moviefilm arrives on time, but is it too little, or too much?
Movie Review
Advertisement
And The Rest
-
Review: The Creator is high-end, low-tech sci-fi with middling ambitions
Movie Review
-
Review: The Devil All The Time explores the root of good ol' American evil
Movie Review
-
Review: I'm Thinking Of Ending Things is Kaufman at his most alienating
Movie Review
-
Review: The Babysitter: Killer Queen is a sequel that's stuck in the past
Movie Review
-
Review: The Peanut Butter Falcon is more than a silly nammm peanut butter
Movie Review
-
Face The Music: The Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey soundtrack is most outstanding
Movie Feature
-
Review: Tenet once again shows that Christopher Nolan is ahead of his time
Movie Review
-
Review: Project Power hits the right beats but offers nothing new
Movie Review
-
Marvel's Cine-CHAT-ic Universe: Captain America: Civil War (2016)
Movie Feature
-
Review: Host is a techno-horror that dials up the scares
Movie Review