Clive Owen

News, Reviews & Features

Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets

Movie Review | Matt Looker | 27th July 2017

Anyone who has read this site's review of Jupiter Ascending or pretty much any of the Transformer films will know that we tend to be more lenient than most when it comes to over-ambitious sci-fi epics. We forgive atrocious dialogue and overlong running times in order to reward dumb fun alien shit. So, frankly, Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets is lucky to have us, because this is a movie in which legendary filmmaker Luc Besson doesn't bother looking at the script twice nor his watch once while he continuously plays with an endless line-up of CGI distractions. This is him procrastinating with his own imagination in the same way that you or I would dick about on Twitter rather than get on with any real work. This is Luc Besson's Faff Element.

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Top 10 films of our lifetime #2: Children Of Men

Movie Feature | Ali Gray | 25th September 2014

I bloody love a good apocalypse. I think if I were a director, being given the chance to ruin the world and set up camp at ground zero would be like being a kid in a sweet shop: so much potential for iconic imagery, so many stories to tell, so many angles. In Children Of Men, Alfonso Cuaron tells the biggest story - the imminent extinction of mankind - yet manages to make it small and personal at the same time. And, true to form, he captures some unforgettable imagery along the way. I hope the real apocalypse looks this good - Ali.

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Shadow Dancer

Movie Review | Ed Williamson | 22nd August 2012

Unlike its namesake, a game for the Megadrive in which a ninja and his dog beat up a lot of other ninjas, James Marsh's Shadow Dancer is about the Troubles. This puts me in the awkward position of having little background knowledge of the Troubles to contribute, largely because I spent too much of my youth not doing my history homework so I could play Shadow Dancer on the Megadrive. You can see the bind I'm in.

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Saturday smackdown: Killer Elite 2011 vs The Killer Elite 1975

Movie Feature | Luke | 25th June 2011

Kick! Punch! It's all in the mind! Renowned Prince of Subtlety Jason Statham will be exploding all over cinemas this September, in Killer Elite. But it's not the first time the title has seen used, with Sam Peckinpah beating him to it by over 35 years. So which film is the most elitist? There's only one way to find out... fiiiight!

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Ross From Friends directs Clive Owen in Generic Thriller #673

Movie Trailer | Ali | 2nd August 2010

Here's a trailer from Trust, a cyber-thriller from 'director' David Schwimmer. (*sniggers*)

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Closer

Movie Review | Ali | 22nd June 2005

Four painfully attractive people meet each other and proceed to jump into each other's beds like an inter-continental gang bang - on paper, Closer sounds awful, like one of those British films starring a Fiennes brother where you want each and every person involved to suffer a horrible and torturous death. However, on film, Clo...

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