Expendables

News, Reviews & Features

Create your own Expendables villain!

Movie Feature | Ali Gray, Luke Whiston | 15th August 2014

As you've no doubt seen discussed on The Pirate Bay, The Expendables 3 hits cinemas this week. It's a franchise famous for overblown action, probable steroid abuse and dubious berets, but above all else, it's famous for its ridiculous character names. Joining Lee Christmas, Hale Caesar and Toll Road is Mel Gibson's villain: Conrad Stonebanks. Let the swill around your mouth for a few minutes.

Read full article »
New Shiznit film critic Michael Owen reviews this week's new releases

Movie Feature | Michael Owen | 15th August 2014

The internet did a collective snigger today when a Guardian interview revealed footballer-turned-pundit Michael Owen had only ever seen five films in his life, including Jurassic Park, Ghost and Heat. Because I'm a die hard Liverpool fan and I'm always keen to expand the horizons of fledgling film fans, I asked Michael if he was up for watching and reviewing five of this week's new releases, doubling his total. Unbelievably, he said yes! I know! I'm still in shock! Take it away, Michael Owen!

Read full article »
50 fun facts you didn't know about The Expendables or maybe you did

Movie Feature | Ali Gray | 11th August 2014

You'd think by now, with three Expendables movies under his Expendabelt, we'd know all there is to know about Sylvester Stallone, Barney Ross and his motley crew of mercenaries. You'd be wrong: DEAD WRONG. Because they are mysteries wrapped in enigmas wrapped in delicious sausagemeat. Here are 50 things you could never conceivably have known about The Expendables, you close-minded little shrimps.

Read full article »
The Expendables 3

Movie Review | Becky Suter | 6th August 2014

In The Expendables 3, grizzled veteran Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) faces an existential crisis after miraculously cheating death and battling the ravages of age, and is ultimately forced to put his demons to rest to defeat a former ally who has gone rogue. Oh, and literally blow the shit up out of everything he passes.

Read full article »
This video of Jason Statham diving is the best thing he's ever done

Movie News | Ali Gray | 23rd July 2014

We all knew that action star Jason Statham was a former diver who represented Great Britain in the Commonwealth Games, but the BBC have unearthed the first footage of the actor performing a series of high dives â€“ and he's not very good. I mean, he's obviously quite good, given that he's representing his country and everything, but the video shows Statham come close to bellyflopping, then appears dejected as the judges mark him poorly. Frankly, this is the most I've liked Jason Statham in years.

Read full article »
Advertise with us!
Exclusive reveal: what is Mr Turner painting in his poster?

Movie Feature | Ali Gray | 22nd July 2014

Look, here's the lovely new quad poster (large) for Mike Leigh's Oscar-botherer Mr Turner, in which Timothy Spall plays 19th century paint god JMW Turner.

You might think that splash of orange paint is an artistic statement, or perhaps a way of shielding young children from seeing Timothy Spall's monstrous visage, but we can exclusively reveal what Turner is painting in this poster. You won't believe your eyes.

So HE'S the one responsible.

Read full article »
Expendables stand in front of and on top of large truck during gun-fight

Movie Feature | Ali Gray | 6th June 2014

I can't help but think standing behind it might be a smarter idea while under heavy fire, but then I'm not an Expendable and I never will be.

Read full article »
It's like all The Expendables died

Movie Feature | Ali Gray | 3rd April 2014

These new Expendables 3 posters make it look like the entire cast died of an unexpected heart attack en masse. Especially if you listen to this.

Read full article »
9 worst movie lines of 2012

Movie Feature | Matt | 2nd January 2013

It's 2013! A new year of wonderful movies to look forward to, so full of potential and promise. Or we could just point and laugh at last year's films again? Yeah, let's do that.

Read full article »
Win Expendables 2, then celebrate by snapping someone's neck clean off

Movie Competition | Matt | 4th December 2012

Do you like watching old men fight each other to the death? Then we have the competition for you!

Read full article »

Support Us

We are now using Patreon to cover some of our hosting fees. So if you like our brand of "content" and would like to see us do more, please consider chucking a few digital pennies our way by clicking on the link below. Thanks!